


The Choice

by EJamie



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, bughead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-01 05:13:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EJamie/pseuds/EJamie
Summary: An AU Bughead Riverdale  fanfic that jumps back and forth between our beloved characters as teenagers and adults. The heartbreaking choices  made and the fallout from those choices years later.Definitely a 'mature' rating for this one. Can't say this will have any sort of regular updating schedule as I'm also a published author in my 'real' life . So whenever the muse moves me, really. This is just a fun exercise and I hope you guys enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**The Choice**

**Chapter One**

“The whore of Riverdale has returned.”

Elizabeth ‘Betty’ Cooper looked up from her menu and the corner of her mouth quirked in a wry grin.

Her old nemesis, Cheryl Blossom…(or did she go by her married name ‘Rutherford’ now?) took her seat across the table from her. She motioned for a waiter who was at their table in an instant.

Betty may have deliberately picked a restaurant outside of town for this meeting, eighteen years in the making, but the Blossom name still carried a long reach and Cheryl was recognized and catered to wherever she went.

Betty didn’t want anyone else to know she had returned. Yet. She and her daughter Jessica had arrived from New York City the night before, going straight from the airport to the hotel where she had made the call to Cheryl.

“I should have been surprised to get your call but I really wasn’t. I knew as soon as JJ turned eighteen that you would come back.”

Cheryl didn’t call him Jason, Betty was so grateful for that…She had so much to be grateful to this woman for, but right now, this, small yet huge thing, that she had kept her promise to Betty that she wouldn’t let her son be called Jason. A well of emotion swelled into Betty’s throat and she had to take a deep breath to move past it and be able to speak. “How is he?”

“His graduation was just this past week. A grand affair of course attended by all high society. He’s trying to convince my mother to let him to go backpacking in Europe for a year before starting Princeton.”

Betty eased back in her seat. Princeton. Just like that. Her little boy was headed to Princeton like the golden heir apparent that he was while Betty had fought and scraped together every resource she had to make sure Jessica got a good education and got a full scholarship to Columbia. “Is he happy?”

Cheryl gave her a small, reassuring smile. “Yeah. He’s got a wide circle of friends. Every advantage the Blossom name has provided him with and a bright future.”

Betty didn’t miss the undertone of warning in her tone. _Don’t fuck it up for him now._ She stiffened.

Cheryl sighed. “Look, Betty. I can’t even imagine what these past eighteen years have been like for you-”

“No, you can’t, Cheryl,” she snapped. “I kept my end of the bargain. He’s an adult now. I want my son back.”

Cheryl took a sip of her wine. “He doesn’t know you exist, Betty.”

“Because you told him his parents died. I remember the deal, Cheryl, but the time has come for him to learn the truth. I thank you for what you did for him-”

“You have no idea,” Cheryl said, her eyes glittering hard for a second before she looked at Betty sadly. “I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve to know the truth…I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t agree with you but we can’t just ambush with everything that happened almost twenty years ago. This can’t just be about what you want. It has to be about what’s best for him.”

Betty nodded slowly, trying to control her emotions. “You’re right… I just…”

“Yeah I know. Just… baby steps, okay? My mother is gonna have a shit fit when she learns your back in town. To stay?”

“Oh you bet your ass,” Betty insisted.

Cheryl nodded, as if she approved. “Well, I know my nana is gonna find that hysterical.”

Betty set her fork down, her eyes wide. “She’s still alive?”

“Ninety nine years old next month.”

“Wow,” Betty leaned back in her seat. The old woman was the only Blossom she had actually liked as a teenager.

“Tell me about Jessica,” Cheryl urged.

Betty lit up with pride. “She’s back at the hotel probably trying to track down the nearest library to catch up on every bit of Riverdale history she can get her hands on.”

“Aren’t you afraid she might stumble upon what happened to you?”

“I told her what happened.”

Cheryl nearly choked on her bite of grape tomato. “Everything?”

“Unlike your creepy family, I don’t keep secrets from my daughter. I wanted her to be prepared for coming back here. So yes, she knows every vile thing that happened almost twenty years ago.”

“Jesus.” Cheryl shook her head. “Why would you think it would help her to know any that?”

Betty cocked her head. “Oh you mean as opposed to telling her…what? Some warped Stepford Blossom white-washed version?”

“She’s eighteen years old, Betty.”

“I was sixteen!” Betty shot back, rage rising within her.

Guilt shadowed Chery’s face and she nodded. They were silent for a while before she cleared her throat. “Well, we’ve talked about everyone but one key player in this whole thing. Have you seen him yet? Does he know you’re back?”

Betty looked down at her plate, pushing the pasta around a bit. _Him._ The boy she had loved and left. Her first…only love. “No. I know I should because he’s going to find out I’m here sooner or later but…I just wasn’t ready to see Jughead yet.”

“Well, you won’t have to tell me how that meeting goes. I’m sure I’ll see the nuclear explosion from my window clear across town.”

Betty rolled her eyes, trying for lightness but her stomach knotted, imagining Jughead’s reaction to seeing her after how she had disappeared on him. “We’re adults now. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll go. Let him know I’m staying in Riverdale and we’ll just go on and live our lives the way we have all these years. Nothing will change.”

Cheryl snorted. “If you believe that, I’ve got some swamp land in Florida to sell you.”

“Okay, stop. Seriously. You’re gonna freak me out.”

“Sorry, it’s what we Blossoms do, you know. Just…well…there’s some stuff you should know about Jughead and JJ before you see him.”

Betty blinked, surprised. “What are you talking about?”

“Jughead is the leader of the Serpents now.”

Betty closed her eyes, regret piercing her chest. “I had a feeling that would happen after his dad died a few years ago, but I had hoped that would be the push Jughead needed to get out of that life. Guess not.”

“Yeah, not. He’s trying to turn the gang around. Make it a good thing, you know? And well…he and JJ. He’s always looked out for JJ, and much to my mother’s horror JJ really looks up to Jughead. He’s kind of like a father figure to him.”

Betty’s mouth fell open. “Seriously?”

“It’s the one thing he’s ever argued with my mom about. Jughead is a ‘no debate’ zone for JJ. He latched on to him when he was a little boy because Jughead was always kind of around in town. I guess because JJ’s own father wasn’t around-”

“Do not-”

Cheryl lifted her hand. “Not a judgement. Merely a statement of fact. I think Jughead kept his eye on JJ, for your sake at first. Now…I’ve seen them together. Jughead really loves JJ like a son.”

“You’re not going to tell me my son is involved in Jughead’s gang, Cheryl. Please don’t tell me-”

“Hell no. Jughead doesn’t let him into that, even when JJ thought it would be so cool. Jughead always said no.”

Betty exhaled in relief.

“Anyway. I thought it best if you were prepared. I’ve got to get going. Let’s take this slow, okay? I know you’ve waited a long time for this but JJ has no idea Train Betty is coming. God help Riverdale.”

The next day Betty made her way to the seedier side of Riverdale. South Side was home to the less affluent citizens of town and most of the time, there was no mixing between the two. Usually when bleeding over occurred the result was never pleasant. Riverdale police had their hands full making sure the divide stayed clear and keeping the south side from exploding in all out chaos created by low incomes and low hope.

She’d only been in this bar a handful of times and it always made her uneasy. This time, though, her nervousness had nothing to do with the leering men or aura of menace that permeated the air. Her heart was in her throat, scanning the room for one man. She tried to alter the picture she had in her head of the teenage boy he had been with his ever present wool cap. What would he look like now? Betty tried to mentally take stock of her own appearance. She felt nothing like the teenage girl she had been. Did she look much different? Her face had lost some of its fullness. A wrinkle here and there maybe. A body that was maybe a little rounder in places, having birthed two children. She heard a thud ahead of her and looked up towards the stairs that led to the rooms above the bar.

A man gripped the railing, missing his footing, he had nearly tripped on the step when he spotted her.

_Dear God._ Betty couldn’t breathe looking at him. The room seemed to quiet around them though she could still feel the pulsing beat of bluesy rock that told her the sensation was all in her mind. Her entire world narrowed to one point. He looked the same, yet not the same at all. She walked closer, limbs heavy with dread and uncertainty but unable to resist the urge to _move_ towards him.

“Is that-” A voice said behind her.

“Yeah,” another voice replied.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He hadn’t moved from his spot in the middle, gripping the railing so hard Betty could see his knuckles turn almost as white as the stunned face that stared at her now.

He didn’t have his hat on. That was the first thing that came to her mind when the chaotic whirl of seeing him again for the first time in so long had settled. His hair was still in the usual lush disarray she had remembered so well. The urge to slide her fingers through it made Betty’s mouth go dry. His face had lost most of his boyish softness covered now with a slight shadow of stubble along his jaw. There were faint lines around his eyes. Laugh lines, Betty would have wanted to believe had she known that the boy she knew didn’t laugh easily. Life had been no more kind to Jughead than it had to her. It had just given her more money.

“What the…Why?” He asked her. His voice was slightly deeper too.

She noticed that his eyes…those beautiful blue eyes roamed over her as if taking in all her changes as well. The lanky build she remembered gave way now to lean muscle, noticeable even beneath his leather jacket. Long legs in black jeans, narrow hips and black boots finished the intimidating picture. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

His eyes widened a little. At her gall, no doubt and Betty was certain he was about to tell her to go fuck herself. Curiosity seemed to win out though and he gave a curt nod and then turned and made his way back up the stairs. She followed him into one of the rooms. His office, she figured. A cluttered desk was propped close to the wall. A brown couch flanked another side. He took off his jacket and Betty watched his back, broader than she remembered, beneath the black t-shirt he wore as he tossed it on to the couch and ran his fingers through his hair repeatedly turning back to her. “This is one of the few times in my life I really wish I drank.”

His father had been a notorious alcoholic having attempted many times over his lifetime to stay sober before his liver had finally given out, cause his body to shut down. Betty wasn’t surprised that Jughead didn’t drink.

“Okay.” He said, leaning against his desk. “You wanted to talk. Talk.”

She tried not to let the coldness in his tone hurt. He had every right to be angry with her. Logically, she knew that; but she and Jughead had never been about logic. “I’m moving back to Riverdale. Permanently. I wanted you to hear it from me personally.”

He leaned back, mouth open in feigned shock. “Really? That’s awfully considerate of you. Nice change from your usual M.O, leaving apologetic notes on night tables.”

Her face flushed hot with guilt and her eyes burned with tears. “Yeah. Well. I guess I’ll go.”

 She looked away and he bolted from the desk, making her jump when he caught her arm. He glared down at her, saying nothing for the longest time.

Betty stared up at him, into hot angry blue eyes, uncertainty and arousal churning through her. She tried to jerk her arm free but his grip tightened.

“What the hell are you doing back here?” he demanded.

“I told you-”

He cut her off with his mouth, swallowing her gasp of surprise and then…melting surrender as her knees buckled under the weight of sense memory of hot teenage fumblings, trying to gorge on each other and new teenage feelings that always seemed too big for either of them to contain.

The years had done nothing to dull the urge to climb inside of each other and Betty didn’t utter a single protest as he pushed her against the wall and feasted on her mouth, holding her head still with his hands as if he was indeed afraid she would bolt. No. Eighteen years…she wasn’t going anywhere. She tugged at his shirt, pulling trying to get at bare skin, a tiny voice pricking the back of her mind, _here? Yes, here. NOW,_ the lust roaring in her blood shouted back. Buttons undone, zippers down, clothes shifted just enough to get at each other. With ease he turned them both towards the couch and down. His weight over her, spreading her legs. He stopped for a second. He always did, just before. Giving her that last out. Always. _If you want me to stop, just say the word, okay?_ Tears burned in her eyes as for a split second the anger fell away and he was once again the sweet boy she knew. She nodded and the angry mask was back and he closed his eyes, closing himself away from her even as he pushed into her body for the first time in so many years. He gave a low growl deep in his throat and she cried out in shock as the lightning fast orgasm slammed into her, stunning her. He moved then, deep and fast, kindling the fire inside of her for more even as she still throbbed around him. Betty held him close, burying her face in his neck, tasting his skin, feeling the sweat gathering there.

Dear God how she’d missed him. There’d been a few other men, men with dark hair and blue eyes that she’d tried to use to replace him in her heart but nothing came close to this. She took his anger into her eagerly because she was too relieved to feel this again, this perfection of his body inside of her. Then, too soon, it was over. He tore a second cry from her before she felt his own release follow. She tightened her legs around his hips as he trembled, panting against her, his hot breath in her hair. They stayed that way, locked together for a few seconds and she gave into the urge to slide her fingers in his hair, wanting to kiss him. She felt the coldness in him return in that second and he started to pull away. She wanted to stop him, wanted to keep him from putting that wall up between them but it was too late. He left her and straightened his clothes, going to the door once she was back on her shaky legs. Opening it he turned to her, no longer the sweet teenage boy she knew but an angry adult man. “Now that we got that out of the way. Get the hell out, Elizabeth Cooper. And this time, stay gone.”

  


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

“Mom, this town is like something out The Gilmore Girls. Seriously. There’s an honest to goodness General Store. Now, sure it had wifi but still…wow,” Jessica Cooper said, walking next to Betty on the sidewalk.

“Not exactly the Upper East Side, right?” Betty remarked. She stopped at the door the town’s newspaper, The Register owned by her mother, Alice.

“No, it was…” Jessica bit her lip.

“Don’t say ‘quaint’. I’ll make them revoke your journalism scholarship if you say ‘quaint’,” Betty threatened with a snort.

Her daughter laughed and followed her inside. Betty watched her daughter’s face light up as she took in all the activity around her. “Someday all this will be yours,” she teased.

“You want to explain to me why I had to learn from Mrs Latham in the post office who heard from her son who works at Gradiccis outside of town that you came back to Riverdale yesterday and didn’t bother to call your mother?” Alice Cooper came storming towards them, a whirlwind of perfectly coiffed blonde hair and blue eyes. She slammed a folder on a nearby desk, not once breaking her stride.

“I wanted to prepare my daughter for her-”

“Oh my God, look at you!” Alice grabbed Jessica by the shoulders. “You’re so beautiful. Your pictures and a computer screen just do not do you justice!” She pulled Jessica in for a tight hug.

“…grandmother,” Betty finished weakly.

 “Hi Gran,” Jessica smiled, hugging her back.

“I absolutely hated that I wasn’t able to make it to your graduation but you’re here now and that’s all that matters and let me show you around, hmm? So your mother tells me you’ll be starting Columbia in the fall…” Alice wrapped an arm around Jessica’s shoulder and pulled her down the hall.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, you two. I’ll just stay here and…” The phone rang and Betty looked down at it…’play secretary I guess.” A man she didn’t recognize at one of the other desks turned and smiled at her. Another older man walked past her just as she picked up the phone. “Register, Alice Cooper’s temporary minion. How may I help you?”

“Sorry, Alice Cooper’s what?” The man on the phone asked.

Betty felt a beat of recognition at the voice. “Archie?”

The older man stopped at the door. “I’m going out to get some coffee. How do you take it?”

“Cream, three sugars, one chocolate pump, whipped cream.” Betty replied.

“Oh my God, Betty is that you?” The voice in the phone asked.

“Archie! How are you?” Betty asked, delight filling her at hearing one of her oldest friend’s voices.

“Christ, only one person would drink that diabetic monstrosity,” Archie said. “When did you get back? Why didn’t you tell me…oh…So that’s why Jughead ripped one of our punching bags off its chain this morning.”

At his name, Betty closed her eyes, anger and humiliation swamped her. The way he treated her after they had…Well, she had said what she had to to him, there was no reason for them to have anything more to do with each other. Riverdale was a small town, but she was a grown woman with her own life to live. Jughead Jones could go fuck himself as far as she was concerned.   

 “Great, so I’ll see you this afternoon.”

Betty blinked. “What?” She hadn’t heard a word he’d said.

He’d actually called to run an ad in the paper for a junior boxing tournament being held next week at the gym he co-owned with Jughead. The gym he’d just invited her to come visit with Jessica that afternoon. And she’d agreed. Jughead would probably be there. Shit. After taking down the details for the ad she was sorely tempted to back out of the visit but her pride wouldn’t let her. She wouldn’t seek him out but neither would she avoid him like a silly teenager.

Jessica came down the hall in an excited rush. “Mom, grandma says I can work here with her for the summer. An actual newspaper! Not like the internships back home but I’d actually be getting paid and have my own byline and write actual news!”

Betty smiled with pride but it wavered as a thought occurred to her. She looked over at her mother. “Nothing dangerous?”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Oh sure. I’ll send her to cover the shanking at Old Lady Gillivray’s over her beating out Old Lady Murphy for this year’s blue ribbon peach pie contest. Really, Betty.”

They worked out her own schedule for coming to work at the paper full time as well and after relaying Archie’s message for ad space, Betty left with her daughter to visit him at the gym.

“So you and Archie lived next to each other as kids. Did you guys ever have a thing?”

Betty rolled her eyes. “No, this isn’t Dawson’s Creek, Jess.” If she actually _had_ had a crush on Archie after she discovered boys didn’t have cooties, well, she would just keep that to herself, she thought fighting a smile. It had only lasted about five minutes, until _that_ horrific night when Jughead had found her in the dark and from that night on her heart had been his.

The sign read Andrews Gym. Betty braced herself for the possibility that Jughead would still be inside. Archie mentioned he’d been there that morning. _Please let him be gone._

Of course he was still there. He was standing outside of the ring, leaning against the ropes as two boys who looked about fifteen boxed inside. Did he teach classes here?

Archie followed her gaze.

Betty looked at him in confusion. “But the sign says…Oh, got it.” No one would come if a Serpent’s name was on the door. Just as always, appearances were everything in Riverdale.

Betty did a double take when got a good look at her old friend. He had often bemoaned his red hair but now coupled with a reddish brown beard she couldn’t imagine any woman who didn’t fan herself over him. “This is new,” Betty said with a teasing smile, scratching his beard. “Very Jamie Fraser.”

“Who?” he asked with a laugh.

Sadness gripped her for a moment. Outlander had been her best friend Veronica’s favourite show. They had binged all the seasons repeatedly during many a sleep over, gushing over the gorgeous male Scottish hero.

Out of the corner of her eye, Betty saw Jughead finally spot them. He straightened and jumped to the floor, making his way towards them. Her heart raced with every step closer. Damn him.

“So you must be Jessica, right?” Archie asked, turning to her daughter.

Jessica shook his hand. “Nice to finally meet the great Archie Andrews. The boy next door. I thought you were a musician though?”

“Songwriter.” He then went on to list a few songs he’d penned that impressed Jessica because she knew and loved them.

Betty cleared her throat and forced herself to introduce her daughter to Jughead.

She watched Jessica’s eyes lift to the man’s head and knew she was noticing the lack of the hat her mother had always gone on about. Jessica said nothing about it though. “This place is pretty cool. I’m going to be staying with my mom for the summer before I start at Columbia. Can I sign up?”

  Both men stared at her. “Uh…this place is actually…” Archie began uneasily, looking to Jughead for help.

Jughead cleared his throat. “We get some pretty rough characters in here. A few of the South Side kids who can swing it bus in ‘cause we have better facilities than in their neighborhoods.”

Jessica snorted at that. “I have two words for you ‘Downtown Brooklyn’.”

“Uh, Betty, you want to chime in here?” Jughead pressed, glaring at her.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “You want a shovel?”

He narrowed his eyes at her before trying for a charming smile on her daughter. “It’s just that, really, most of the women feel more comfortable in the upscale gym on the other side of town, closer to The Register, where your grandmother works, right?”

Jessica pulled out her phone. “Wow, this is so amazing that I’ve got to tweet it.”

“What?” Archie asked, looking over to see what she was doing.

“I’ve just discovered the first gym where you box with your penis.”

Betty burst out laughing and pushed Jessica’s hand down silently urging her to put the phone away. “Okay, I think they’ve learned their lesson. Right, guys?”

“The sign-up sheet is in my office,” Archie said with a grin, motioning Jessica to follow him.

Betty gave a little start when she realized she had been left with Jughead. She made to walk past him but he reached to take her arm.

“Betty, wait.”

Heat shimmered all through her at his fingers on her bare skin and the instant reaction left her so furious with herself that she jerked her arm out his grasp. “Don’t you-”

He quickly let her go and raised his hands. “Okay. Sorry. Look… I just…about what happened. I never meant for things to go that far.”

She clenched her teeth and glared at him. “Is that what you’re apologizing for? The sex was not the problem, you jackass!” She tried to keep her voice low. “It was the whole zipping up your fly treating me like a whore afterwards, Jughead. Remember that part?” Oh fuck no, she would _not_ cry in front of him, Betty mentally tried to halt the tears that threatened.

His face flushed bright red and he cringed. “Yeah. That was absolutely uncalled for. I don’t even expect you to forgive me. I just wanted to you know that I am absolutely ashamed of how I acted. It was just, seeing you again after all these years…Christ, Betty…I lost my head…No,” He shook his head quickly, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not saying that as any kind of excuse, okay? I know it’s not, but…it is why it happened. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. You have to know that I would never have used you like that…”

“No, no!” Betty rushed ahead, stunned at the comparison he was trying to make. Now it was she that gripped his arm. “Jughead, it wasn’t like that. Don’t even think that it was the same!” Her anger dissipated under the stronger desire to comfort him. Just like that. He needed something from her, she gave it. Always. Damn her weakness for the man even after all this time.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, nodding slowly. “Good. Good.”

She cleared her throat. “Well…um…like I said, I’m back to stay so…I was hoping that, maybe we could…I don’t know, at least be civil if not-”

The door opened behind her, sending her forward into Jughead’s arms which she had only a split second to physically react to with a burst of arousal before a young male voice behind her apologized and moved past her.

“Oops, sorry. Hey, Jug.”

She wouldn’t have really looked at him a second time if Betty didn’t see Jughead’s face change in an instant. He paled and whispered “shit”, his eyes moving instantly to her and then the boy.

Jessica and Archie came out of his office then and she stopped when she saw the boy. Betty watched her daughter and the world grew blurry around everyone but them. Her daughter and the boy, though Betty could only see him from behind were in sharp focus. He had on Jughead’s hat. The wool cap that Betty remembered from her teenage years. It was that even more than Jessica’s face paling, even more than her daughter’s phone slipping out of her hand and hitting the floor with a dull, protected thud that told Betty who the boy was.

_Jughead has always looked out for JJ. He loves him like a son._

He’d given this boy his hat.

“Oh my God,” Betty whispered, moving towards him.

She felt Jughead holding her back, wrapping an arm around her waist to halt her.

“Betty, Betty, wait,” he urged.

“It’s him…” she whispered, her entire body beginning to shake, tears filling her eyes. Her arms actually warmed with the sense memory of his tiny baby weight against them. “Oh my God, Jughead, it’s him.”

“Yes, okay? Yeah, but you can’t just go over there and tell him who you are yet. Listen to me, Betty. Betty!” Jughead cupped her face in his hands and she tried to struggle against him, all the while watching JJ with his sister.

“You okay?” JJ asked Jessica since she still hadn’t said a word, unable to stop staring up at him.

Betty had shown her pictures of him that Cheryl had sent her over the years. Jessica gave a little start, jerking herself out of her stunned stupor and looked past him briefly to Betty who was being held by Jughead both to keep her still and keep her from hitting the floor.

Betty watched Jessica collect herself and smile at him. “Yeah, my name’s Jess. I just got to Riverdale a few days ago. I’m spending the summer here with my mom.”

“JJ Blossom, nice to meet you.”

Betty couldn’t help the sob that escaped her then and Jughead dragged her out of the gym just as JJ turned at the sound. She tried to get back inside as Jughead pulled her away from the doors. “Jughead, please!”

“Betty, you can’t, okay? You can’t do this here. Not like this.”

He gathered her into his arms as she conceded and broke down, sobbing against his chest. He held her like that for a long time, stroking her hair, murmuring soft words of comfort, once again the sweet boy she’d known trying to make all her pain go away even while he himself suffered. Betty buried her face in his warmth, feeling the strong, steady beat of his heart and slowly she regained her composure. “You gave him your hat,” she finally said, feeling him give a quick laugh against her.

“Yeah, well. When he was little he’d keep going for it. I…” He shrugged.

She pulled back and looked up at him, love washing over her in such a strong wave she couldn’t speak for a moment. “You’ve been there for him this whole time.”

He stepped away from her, uncomfortable. “It just didn’t seem right to let the Blossoms be all he knew…You were a part of him too even if he couldn’t know it.”

Betty’s chin quivered. “Even though you hated me…”

Jughead shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Wanted to hate you. Tried to hate you. But…Betty, you gotta help me out here. You owe me.”

She nodded, sniffling and wiping her cheeks. “I know. I just can’t yet. Not after today. I don’t think I could handle it.”

“Okay, tomorrow then. Some place…um…Pop’s. How about Pop’s?” He asked, his cheeks pink.

Betty understood. Less chance of a repeat of what had happened if they were in a public place.

Jessica came out into the hall then and hugged her mother. “Are you okay?”

Betty’s arms tightened around her and she took a shaky breath, looking over at Jughead, she nodded, so grateful for how he had comforted her despite how terrible their relationship was now. “Yeah.” She pulled back and cupped her daughter’s face. “How about you?”

“He’s offered to show me around town. Of course I didn’t tell him who I was, but I did tell him I had a boyfriend back home just so…you know…things don’t get weird,” Jessica said.

“Oh…so you’re going to be spending time together…” Betty said her eyes filling again.

“Yeah,” Jessica said, her own eyes glistening. “I’m finally going to get to know my brother.”

 

Betty made her way across the cemetery grounds, stopping when she came to the beautiful marble white slab. She set her bouquet of white lilies down among the other flowers in front of it. She blinked back tears as she traced the letters on the slab.

_Veronica Lodge_

_Beloved daughter._

“Hey V,” she whispered. “I’ve come home. I’ve come to get my baby back. I saw him today. He’s so beautiful. I know you’ve been watching over him all these years, just like you did when he was first born. I was such a mess and you just took charge figuring it all out, the feedings, the diapers and made me feel like I wasn’t an absolute loser as a mom. ‘You got this, Betty Cooper. It’s just poop, not nuclear physics,’ you would tell me.” A sob welled up in her throat. “You would have made such an amazing mom. Our kids should have grown up together and been best friends like we were. I’m gonna ask you to help me out now too. Help me figure out how to do this so my son doesn’t hate me. I need to figure out how to make him understand.”

“She will,” a female voice said behind her. Betty turned to see Veronica’s mother Hermione. She got to her feet and hugged her.

“Word is starting to spread that you’re back. Penelope probably already knows.”

“I’m trying to gather my nerve to head there next. Thornhill.”

Hermione shuddered. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Betty smiled in gratitude. “Maybe just send out a search party if I don’t show up tomorrow.” She squeezed the woman’s hands. “I owe you so much…after everything you did for me…even after what happened to Ver-”

Hermione shook her head quickly and cupped Betty’s face, kissing her cheeks. “My daughter loved you like the sister she never had. You were not to blame for her death. The Blossoms were. I don’t care how long it takes, we’ll make them pay for what they took from all of us.”

Betty parked her rental car just outside Thornhill’s gates. She stared up at the house of her nightmares. Twenty years and it still represented every horrific thing Betty had endured. She lifted a trembling hand to the intercom to announce herself. The gates swung open before she could. She’d been expected.

Betty swallowed, staring up at the house, willing herself to be strong for her son’s sake.

 Eighteen years ago, she had looked up at this house, a broken young girl, finally beaten into submission by fear and violence, two crying babies in a stroller.

That frightened young girl still trembled inside of her, but just as she had done what she had to to save those she loved so many years ago, she lifted her chin, and for her son, Betty Cooper began to walk.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

_ Nineteen Years Ago _

_*warnings for references to sexual violence*_

__

Her first sensation as consciousness returned was pain. Everything hurt. Betty burrowed further into the blanket that covered her and groaned as her muscles protested. There was also that throbbing, stinging feeling _there._ She moaned and tried to move and then felt the world spin as she fell off the bed and landed onto the floor. Betty opened her eyes and confusion and panic filled her in the same instant. She hadn’t been on a bed, but on a bench. She hadn’t fallen on the floor, but on the ground. The small blanket covering her was actually a towel. She didn’t recognize it. She trembled as she looked around. Dear God. How did she get here? Panic roared in her ears and she struggled to her feet, gripping the bench and whimpered. She hurt so much between her legs. What the hell had happened to her? It was the not knowing that brought frantic tears to her eyes. Had she finally lost her mind like she’d always feared she would?

“Betty? Is that you? Are you drunk?”

She didn’t think. At the male voice, she screamed and struck out, making contact with something before crumpling to the ground again.

“Ow! Damn it!”

She scrambled to get away from the male voice but it hurt to move. She saw sneakers. Blue jeans. Betty didn’t have the energy to run and her head was swimming.

“Dear God, what happened to you?”

Wait…she knew that voice…She looked up to see Jughead Jones gripping his nose. He was blinking rapidly, his eyes watering from the impact as he tried to shake it off and focus on her.

“Did someone hurt you? Betty, what happened?” He crouched down in front of her and Betty jerked away from him.

“It’s okay,” he said, taking a step back. “It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. It’s me, Jughead. We’re friends, right? You remember that? Let me call the police and-”

“I don’t remember…” Her voice cracked and her lips quivered as tears filled her eyes.

He took a step closer and she wanted to bolt but she forced herself to stay because he was Jughead…her friend.

“You don’t remember…what happened to you?”

She shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I came to a second before you showed up…I don’t know what I’m doing here, Jughead!”

Betty closed her eyes and tried to think how she got to the…She opened her eyes briefly. She was in the park in the middle of the night. How the hell did she get here? The last thing she remembered was being in her room…arguing with Polly, her sister.

“Okay, let call the police.” He looked down at his phone.

_Don’t even think of telling the police or you’ll regret it._

A rough male voice in her ear. She grabbed Jughead’s leg. “No! Don’t.”

He stared down at her in confusion. “Betty…” He crouched down in front of her. “Someone hurt you…bad, right?” He asked, his cheeks turning pink in the darkness.

Betty was torn between throwing up and passing out again. Yes, someone… _Oh God,_ someone had raped her and left her in the park. She may have never done it before but she knew the pain she was feeling could only have been caused by one thing. “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God…” She covered her face with her hands and began rocking back and forth as the horror of not only being raped but having no memory of the attack nor the attacker.

Jughead touched her gingerly on her shoulder and she struck out at him.

“NO! Please don’t…I can’t, Jug. I can’t…”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he said, blue eyes wide… He looked near tears himself. “But…you can’t stay here on the ground, Betty. Let me…please let me help you to your feet, okay? Just that, I promise. I’m not gonna hurt you but you can’t stay here on the ground. You need to get to a hospital.”

A hospital. Hands…checking…prodding…questions she couldn’t answer…Betty crawled away from him and threw up. He handed her the towel that had been covering her.

“I just want to go home…” she whispered.

“Home?” Jughead asked. “Betty, no. You need to have a doctor check you out…in case you-”

“I said NO!” she screamed, pushing him away. She covered her face as the sobs threatened to burst from her throat and choke her.

“All right. No hospital. I’ll take you home…Can I…I need to help you get up.”

She couldn’t walk. Her muscles felt like Jello and her head was still spinning, but oh God…to have him touch her…Betty took deep, gasping breaths. She could do this. She had to do this. She knew Jughead. She liked him. Maybe a lot more lately but though she couldn’t figure out what changed. Oh God, she looked at him now and thought she was gonna throw up again. He was gonna touch her and she was gonna throw up all over him this time. She was sure of it, because she liked him and now she was disgusting and dirty from the inside out and as soon as he touched her he’d know. She couldn’t stay here though. What if… _he_ came back…whoever had…Tears spilled down her cheeks and Betty extended her hand to Jughead.

“Okay, good. Come on,” Slowly, with only as much pressure as he needed to so she could stand up, he helped her to her feet. “Can I…I’ll put my hand here just to hold you up, okay?” He said…his hand hovering over her waist.

She sucked in her breath and braced herself before nodding. Betty jumped when his hand made contact with her side, just barely. “I…don’t take me home yet. My mom…I can’t handle…”

Jughead stopped and looked around. “Um okay… My trailer? It’s a bit of a walk unless you’ve got money for a cab. I don’t have any cash on me.”

“My purse. I can’t…I don’t know where it is. I think I had it with me but...”

“That’s okay. We’ll find it later. Let’s just get you inside.”

She leaned on him the rest of the way, hating the feeling of having anything against her skin but needing the support to stay upright.

They didn’t speak the rest of the way, which Betty was grateful for. She wanted to die. She wanted to curl up in a ball and just close her eyes and never wake up. And scream. Oh God, there was such a rage mingled in with the fear inside of her that Betty worried that if she lost the small grip she had on her sanity she would scream and never stop.

He helped her up the steps to his trailer. “My dad’s not home.” Thank God for that.

Jughead helped her over to the couch. He bit his lip and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “What do you need? Do you want me to call…maybe Veronica?”

Betty shook her head. She closed her eyes and shuddered. “Can I use your shower? I need…I feel…”

Jughead rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? They always say you shouldn’t because of…um…evidence.”

She looked up at him. “Jughead,” she said softly. “If I don’t get clean right now, I’m going to grab that knife on your counter and stab myself in the throat with it, okay?”

His eyes filled with tears and he nodded. “Whatever you need. I’ll go find you something to wear.”

There was blood and her thighs and arms were a mass of bruises. Betty scrubbed and scrubbed until she felt broken skin and then let the water burn as hot as she could bear it against her body. She rested her head on her knees as the water beat down on her and tried to get through the black hole that was the moment after she’d been arguing with her sister. Nothing. She couldn’t even remember what they were arguing…a notebook. There was something about a book. Every time she tried to press further in her mind she felt like she was being yanked backwards and the curtain fell again.

She put on the t-shirt and sweatpants that Jughead offered her and slowly came out of the bathroom. He handed her a bag for her clothes. “I think you should keep them. Just in case you remember more later. If you remember who did it, the police might be able to get something off your clothes maybe.”

“Thank you,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “Um…what time is your dad coming home?”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about my dad. You can stay as long as you need to. You hungry? There’s some leftover pizza. Coffee maybe or a soda?” He took off his wool cap and ran his fingers through his hair before putting it back.

Her eyes filled with tears at his kindness. He always gave off this sarcastic, dark vibe and kept most people at arms-length, not that she blamed him, given what his home life was like, but over the years Betty had come to see the sweet, gentle boy he truly was. Very few people got to see him as he truly was. She had started to think of him as more than a friend and now…She couldn’t even look at him, she couldn’t bear how sweet he was being because she felt as if she didn’t deserve it. He was good and sweet and she was…dirty.

Betty nodded and started shaking again. She lifted her feet onto the couch and rested her head on her knees rocking back and forth.

“Here…here. This crap might be good for something at least this once.”

She lifted her head to see him handing her a bottle of…scotch. His dad’s, Betty knew, because FP Jones liked his booze more than a little. The promise of oblivion felt rather nice right now. Betty grabbed it and took a long swig from it, coughing when it burned its way down her throat.

“Easy!” Jughead warned, touching her wrist. “That stuff’s no joke.”

She didn’t jump this time when he touched her. Betty realized for the first time during the whole horrific night, here in this trailer, she felt safe. She took another, slower sip and felt her nerves settle as the liquor settled and warmed her stomach.

“Better?” He asked.

She nodded.

“Let me get some food in you, okay? It’ll help keep you from getting smashed. That’s enough.”

He walked her home and waited until Betty snuck back into the house and turned her bedroom light on and waved to him before leaving her. Left alone, Betty was afraid again.

She stayed on the floor of her bedroom, light on, awake for the rest of the night.

 The pain had thankfully lessened to a dull throb the next day but the slow way Betty moved around was still noticeable and her mother questioned her as she grimaced while pouring the milk into her cereal. “No big deal. I think I’m just coming down with something.”

Alice lifted a hand to Betty’s forehead. Betty jerked back in terror so quickly the milk jug, cereal bowl and cereal all hit the floor. Her mother looked at her in shock. “What on earth?”

“Sorry, you just startled me I guess,” Betty lied, willing herself to try and get a handle on her nerves.

“Maybe you should stay home today, hmm?” Alice suggested. “I’ve got another late night at the paper but there’s some chicken lasagna in the freezer you can heat up for dinner for your dad and Polly, okay?”

   Betty nodded, grateful. “Um, has Polly left for school already?” She’d hoped talking to her sister might give her some answers about what had happened but actually faced with the possibility of getting those answers, Betty found herself starting to panic. She hated that she felt grateful when her mother said yes. She worked on the school paper, and someday, she was going to work for her family’s newspaper. She was all about finding out the truth, no matter how ugly. Now that the ugliness was centered around her though…Betty didn’t think she had the guts to open that door. Someone had hurt her. She had no idea who. What if it had been someone she knew? Someone at school. Betty imagined walking down the halls of Riverdale High, looking at every male face and wondering _was it you? Was it you that took what wasn’t yours to take but mine to give?_

Betty fell into her chair at the table as the weight of what had happened to her compounded with this new realization. It had been her first time. She had sometimes imagined what her first time would be like, and sometimes, shit got really cheesy, flowers petals and everything, but…nothing…nothing ever would have entered her imagination of losing her virginity like _this._

 A sob broke free and Betty covered her face and let herself cry for the young girl she had been that was now lost forever. She dragged herself back to bed, curled herself under the blankets and closed her eyes, wishing with everything inside of her that she never opened them again.

Exhaustion claimed her and she slept most of the day away, awaking only when she heard someone moving around downstairs. Fear immobilized her for a moment until reason calmed her and she knew it was probably her sister Polly back from school.

She had to do it. She had to open that door. Betty headed down stairs and Polly turned from the fridge to look at her and Betty blinked in surprise at the anger shot her way.

“Polly…” She hesitated. How on earth did she question her sister about what happened without letting on that she remembered nothing. She cleared her throat. “Look, I’m sorry about yesterday, okay?”

Polly slammed the orange juice on the counter and smiled smugly. “Well there’s nothing you can do about it anymore ‘cause I got rid of that stupid notebook.”

“You got rid of it? How?”

“It’s ashes now. I set fire to it in the backyard.”

Betty groaned in frustration. Now how the hell was she supposed to find out what… “Well, did you at least read it before you torched it?”

Polly stiffened, blue eyes going icy with anger. “I didn’t need to read it. I know Jason loves me and anything in that book was just boys being stupid, something he did to look cool for his friends. You know boys lie about that crap to each other all the time.”

Betty tried to make sense of what her sister was saying. The notebook had something to do with Jason Blossom and his friends. Bragging about what…girls? Polly? Betty forced herself to keep talking to her sister as she tried to untangle the conversation in the back of her mind. “I’m only trying to look out for you,” she assured her, reaching for her arm. Polly jerked away from her.

“No, you want to wreck what Jason and I have cause you’re bitter that I have someone and you don’t. It is not my fault that Archie picked Veronica over you!”

Betty jerked back. “I’m not even…That was months ago. I’m not upset about that anymore. We’re friends. This is about you not getting hurt.”

“Jason would never hurt me!” Polly insisted. “And I will never ever forgive you for trying to break us up!”

Betty found the ashes from the notebook in the backyard. There was nothing left that could help her. Jason. So the argument had been about Jason. He was a smarmy letch who nailed anything in a skirt and had hit on her more than once before she let him know it would never happen and then moved on to her sister.

Could Jason had been the one to… _Dear God_. Betty was frozen as she sat in the back yard, staring at the remnants of any questions she could have had answered.

Unless she confronted Jason himself.

God, she didn’t know if she had the courage to look at him. If it had been him…Betty tried to breathe through her panic. Jughead. She would take him with her, if he agreed to go with her, that way she wouldn’t have to face Jason alone.

Not yet though. Tomorrow. At school. Where there would be other people around in case Jason tried anything.

Tomorrow turned out to be too late. When Betty forced herself to go to school the next morning, the entire was buzzing with the news that Jason Blossom was dead, having drowned in the river according to his sister Cheryl.

“Seems they had gone out and the boat tipped over. Cheryl made it. Jason didn’t,” Veronica explained to her.

Betty lifted a hand to her mouth, mixed emotions churning through her. Horror, frustration and at the same time, a guilty kind of relief that she wouldn’t ever have to face Jason. If he’d been guilty, her rapist was now dead. She believed in God in a kind of abstract sense and it seemed that God had taken his justice on her behalf.

If he’d been guilty. There was that niggling doubt in the back of her mind that whispered… _what if it wasn’t him?_ What if she never knew for sure?

“How are you doing?” Jughead asked softly as he sat next to her in the cafeteria, catching her before their other friends arrived.

“I made it out of bed. That’s pretty much all I got right now. I think…God, Jughead, I think it might have been Jason.”

His eyes widened. “You mean…you think…Jason Blossom?”

She explained to him about what Polly had told her but before they could get further into it, Archie and Veronica arrived. Veronica could immediately tell that something was up and Betty broke down as they walked home and told her what happened.

“My God, Betty!” Veronica hugged her tightly, her voice thick with tears. “And you think it might have been Jason?”

“What if I never find out, V?” Betty sniffled, blowing her nose into the monogrammed linen handkerchief Veronica offered and insisted she keep.

“Have you been to the hospital? They could do DNA tests and maybe you could find out that way. Though now that Jason’s dead it might be kind tricky to get anything from him to know for sure.”

“Maybe that’s a sign? That Jason’s dead so maybe I should just let this die with him? I can’t imagine it could have been anyone else so… I just want to forget it happened Veronica.”

Veronica cupped her face. “Honey…I don’t think this is something that you’ll ever be able to forget. You deserve justice for what happened to you, but however you want to handle it, that’s what we’ll do, okay?”

Betty hugged her friend, tears spilling down her face. “I love you so much.”

“Ditto, girl. Ditto,” Veronica said, squeezing tightly and stroking her hair.

As the days went on, Betty tried to forget. Jughead had found her purse in the park but nothing else. No clue as to what had happened that pointed to Jason Blossom or anyone else.

Her nightmares grew worse and when she had a panic attack at Veronica’s suite at the hotel, her mother was there and guessed what had happened to her. It was her mother that brought up another horrifying possibility that Betty had not let her mind consider.

What if she became pregnant?


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

She’d done everything wrong. Oh Hermione didn’t actually say it like that, but Betty knew as Veronica’s mother spoke that she should have gone to the hospital, she should have gone to the police. She’d seen the documentaries. She’s heard the lectures in health class. Should have, should have, should have…

Hermione cupped her face. “But it’s different when it’s _you._ ”

Betty’s eyes stung with tears and she nodded.

“I think you should tell your mother. I know Alice can be…” She cleared her throat. The women had no love lost between them. “a lot but something like this, a girl needs her mother. I know Alice loves you and you should give her a chance to be there for you. I promise she won’t hear it from me though. No one will.”

“Thank you,” Betty said. She knew her mother loved her but she really wasn’t ready to face her mother’s reaction.

“If you want, I can go with you to the clinic and you can get tested when they open tomorrow. For tonight…it’s been a few days but I can head to the pharmacy and pick up the morning after pill. It might still work. If not…I’m on your side, okay, _mija_? Whatever you decide. Do you want to tell me who it was?”

Betty looked at Veronica then shook her head. If it really was Jason Blossom, that knowledge and the whole nightmare could die with him. After Hermione left, Veronica tried to help Betty keep her mind of things by watching television.

Once she took the pill the only thing left to do was wait and pray. Being in the clinic was a different kind of nightmare but the staff was so kind and patient that Betty was able to gather her courage and endure it. They must have seen the bruises that were just beginning to heal but they didn’t pressure her to divulge any details, just imparted that they would be keep her kit for the amount of time that they could by law and if she ever decided she needed it, it would be there. The test results would be available in about a week.

 She needed to tell Archie. It didn’t seem fair to her that Jughead knew, Veronica and her mother knew and yet the boy she had known and who had been her friend since they were toddlers be kept out of such a horrific event in her life. They sat in the gym as the school gathered to mourn Jason’s death.

She did feel some sympathy for Jason’s sister Cheryl as she spoke of the loss of her twin brother. They had never really got along as, being a Blossom, the most powerful family in Riverdale, Cheryl thought herself above everyone else in school. She tried to offer her condolences along with Archie after the crowds dispersed.

“Oh save it, Goldilocks,” Cheryl sneered. “You’re probably just barely able to contain your glee that Jason is finally out of your precious sister Polly’s life for good now.”

Betty stepped back at Cheryl’s vehemence. Polly was inconsolable over Jason’s accident and had said much the same thing to Betty, not wanting any of her sister’s comfort.

“Come on, Cheryl. No one wanted Jason dead,” Archie insisted, placing a hand on Betty’s shoulder.

She froze, but forced herself not to flinch. Thankfully, Archie seemed not to notice. She had informed Veronica that she was going to tell Archie what had happened to her so if she didn’t mind, Betty wanted to be alone when she told him.

He was quiet after she told him. They sat by the river, Archie staring down at the grass, eyes closed. “So much for not wanting Jason dead,” he said, clenching his hands into fists. “If he wasn’t already dead…”

“But he is…so all we can do is put this behind us and move on. That’s what I want more than anything, Archie. Just to put this all behind me and move on with my life.”

He turned to her and hesitated. “Would it be all right if…Can I hug you?”

Betty’s eyes stung at the sweet question even as she wanted to instinctively back away. She nodded and leaned closer as he wrapped his arms around her. Betty clenched her eyes tight and tried not to tremble as Archie cupped the back of her head and she rested it just beneath his chin.

“I’m sorry, Betty,” he said and she could hear the tears in his voice.

“I know,” she replied forcing herself to hug him back before it was too much and she had to pull back or she would break down.

“Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?”

Betty shook her head. “The only thing you can’t give me. For that night to never have happened. Besides that, your secrecy as my friend.”

“You know you have that. I won’t ever breathe a word to anyone.”

“I do know…” She stopped when a few feet behind him, in the water, she spotted something that caught her eye. A flash of white.

Archie looked behind him to follow her gaze. “What is it?”

Betty moved closer. “I’m not sure. What is that?” A flash of…Her heart dropped into her stomach.

“Was that a head?” Archie asked, taking off on a run to get closer. The river’s current helped him and quickly brought up its offering. A body.

Jason Blossom’s dead body.

The town exploded in a firestorm of gossip and accusation because the appearance of young Jason Blossom, the heir to the Blossom fortune and golden boy of Riverdale gave up a dangerous secret. He had not drowned as Cheryl had told everyone, he’d been shot in the head.

“Seriously, what the hell is happening to this town,” Jughead said as he walked with Betty and Archie towards Archie’s house where they dropped him off. “First, what happened to you and now there’s an actually killer on the loose? You should have heard Kevin’s dad questioning me, asking me about my dad, about my dad’s friends.”

Betty stared down at the ground, guilt tightening her stomach in a knot.

He looked at her, noticing her silence. “What?”

“Did you…I have to ask, Jughead…Just for my own peace of mind…”

Jughead’s eyes widened, blatant hurt in them. “Ask what?”

Betty couldn’t look him in the eye. “I wouldn’t tell anyone if you did. I wouldn’t even say it was wrong…I wished him dead too and just don’t think I’d have the guts to do it but…”

“Are you asking me if I killed Jason? Are you serious right now?” His voice was a mingled mix of anger and pain.

She forced herself to look at him. The truth, she told herself, no matter how hard. “Yes. Or if your dad and his friends...”

He laughed bitterly. “So not only do you think I would betray your confidence and tell my dad what happened to you but that I’d then get my dad or another Serpent to whack Jason like some kind of mob hit? Wow, thanks a lot, Betty. Thanks a-fucking-lot for showing me that you think of me the same way everyone else in this town does.” Jughead turned away from her and stormed off.

Betty closed her eyes, guilt a heavy weight in the stomach. Watching him walk away, unease grew inside of her and she wanted only to go after him and stop him from leaving her. “Jughead, wait!”

“No, Betty!” He tossed over his shoulder.

Her breath came up short, sticking in her throat, making her choke with the sudden inability to breathe.

“Do not follow me!” Jughead snapped.

She felt like a balloon that had been untethered, watching him walk away. The only moments where she felt safe, where the fear she’d been living with for over a week since the night of her rape lessened, were the moments where she was with Jughead. She couldn’t bear for him to be angry with her. She couldn’t bear not having him there for her. Dear God, she was lost without him. Her growing crush had developed into something more. She _needed_ him.

And she’d hurt him. She saw it in his stricken face. He’d been there for her through the most horrific night of her life and she’d hurt him.

She wanted to run after him but she knew he wouldn’t want to hear anything she would say right now. Betty forced herself to go home where her parents were arguing. Again.

“We’re not going,” Hal Cooper insisted as Betty made her way down the hall into the kitchen.

“Of course we are,” Alice tossed back. “If you think I’m gonna miss this opportunity for the paper you are out of your mind.”

“Where are or are we not going?” Betty asked, setting her school bag down on a chair at the table.

“The funeral for that Blossom kid,” Hal snapped.

Betty stared at him. “Why on earth are we even invited? They hate us.”

“Think of what this would mean for the paper!” Alice pointed out. “A front row seat to the funeral of the Blossom prince. Our numbers would go through the roof and might even get a mention in of the bigger national papers.”

Betty groaned. “Mom, it’s a funeral, not the Met Gala.”

Alice shook her head. “Betty, you’re the one who inherited my journalistic spirit.”

“Yours?” Hal countered.

“Okay, again, why would they even want us there? Our families have hated each other since the beginning of time and so it shall go on for time immemorial amen.”

“Well, you didn’t hear it from me but there’s a rumour floating around that since it turns out their precious Jason was murdered and didn’t just drown, they’re hoping the killer will show up at the funeral,” Alice said, her eyes bright with excitement.

 “Like…returning to the scene of the crime?” Betty asked. Unease tightened in her stomach. What if Jughead or Jughead’s dad or his friends had done it? Should Betty warn them to stay away? She swallowed hard. Jughead was already mad at her for suggesting he was involved…he hadn’t denied it though and she knew he would protect his father even at the cost of himself.

“Exactly, what kind of killer would be stupid enough to go to his victim’s funeral when he knows everyone is under suspicion?” Hal insisted.

“Not stupid. Arrogant. You just answered your own question, Hal. It’s a game for the killer.”

“Okay, you need to stop watching Dateline,” Hal warned, coming around the center island to the table. “This isn’t some criminal mastermind. Stuff like that doesn’t happen here in Riverdale. As horrible as it was, it was probably just some drifter who wandered into town. Jason was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the killer’s long gone by now.”

 _And teenage girls don’t get raped in parks in Riverdale…_ Betty thought, closing her eyes, fighting the urge to let her mind go back there, on the ground, surrounded by night and fear.

“I hope whoever did it does show up at the funeral. I want to look into his or her face and promise them that I won’t rest until they pay for what they did to Jason,” Polly said in the doorway that led into the living room.

“Honey…” Alice said, drawing Polly into her arms. “You see, Hal? We have to go. For Polly’s sake. I know you cared for the Blossom boy, dear. I may not have approved of the relationship but I know what it’s like to be a young girl in the throes of her first crush.”

Hal gave his wife a look that spoke volumes about how he knew Polly had nothing to do with her desire to attend.

Betty tightened her hands into fist and felt a sharp pain go through her left hand. “Shit!” She exclaimed, realizing that her hand had been wrapped around the knife on the counter and that her blade had cut into her skin.

“Betty!” Her mother rushed over as the blood seeped between Betty’s fingers.

_Let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Give me the gun…come on, sweetheart, give me the gun._

Betty jumped at the male voice in her head. Who was that? She was brought sharply back to the present by the intense burning pain as her mother ran her bleeding hand beneath cold water.

“I… it must have slipped,” she said watching the blood run from her fingers with a sort of morbid fascination.

“Hmm, doesn’t look too serious. I think the blood should stop.” Alice wrapped a small towel around Betty’s hand while her dad went to get the box of bandages from the bathroom. “I swear you’ve inherited my talent for being a danger in the kitchen.”

Thankfully the cut was a superficial one and Betty tried to bring back the…what was that? A memory? Something to do with the night she was raped? She tried to remember what the voice had sounded like. Was it Jason’s voice? The tone was odd…almost kind…Was it just Jason trying to soften her up so she would…There’d been a gun. Betty swallowed a lump of panic. No, no, it didn’t mean anything, Betty told herself. It was just…her nerves had been shot for the past two weeks ever since that night. Veronica had suggested maybe she would want to talk to someone, a counsellor. Betty didn’t think there was any point since she didn’t actually remember the attack itself. She wondered if speaking with someone would help her remember…and decided that was all the more reason not to. She knew she was being a coward, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. It was one thing to go after the truth for other people…Betty just wasn’t brave enough to open that door for herself.

The funeral would be taking place at the Blossom’s estate ‘Thornhill’ as close to a ‘castle on a hill’ as Riverdale could get that was neither a castle nor on a hill. The house oozed menace and Betty couldn’t imagine growing up in such a place. It gave her a brief moment of sympathy for Cheryl, even if she’d always been a bitch to Betty. Growing up in this house explained Cheryl and Jason pretty well.

“Does anyone else hear the theme song from The Omen?” her father remarked dryly as he followed the other cars through the gate up the long driveway.

Betty met up with Veronica and her mother inside after a chilly greeting by Penelope Blossom at the door.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” Hermione whispered, squeezing her hand.

Betty grimaced she had taken her injured hand and Hermione and Veronica looked down at it in question. “It’s nothing. I’m just a menace in the kitchen. That’s all, really,” she insisted at their worried looks.

“Do you know yet…” Hermione murmured, a meaningful glance at her stomach.

She was a day late. That meant nothing. Betty wanted to scream that it meant nothing. She knew that stress could make anyone’s period late. It didn’t mean a damn thing. The past few weeks were definitely the most stressful of her entire life. She shook her head and forced a smile. “It’s too early to know.”

She spotted Jughead talking Archie and cocked her head in surprise. “Jughead was invited too?” Betty looked around for his father but FP was nowhere to be found.

“His dad couldn’t make it. Not up to it,” Veronica said, throwing Jughead a sympathetic glance.

Hungover. The unspoken word hung clearly in the air. Betty’s heart did a funny flip in her chest when she saw Jughead look her way. It scared her that she could still feel the way she did about him even knowing that nothing could ever happen between them, if it ever could have because he gave no indication that he felt the same. The idea of anyone actually touching her like that sent an icy shiver down her back. So she would just forget whatever she was feeling and try and focus on regaining his friendship. She waved briefly at Kevin, the sheriff’s son as both he and his father entered.

“Is Sherriff Keller a suspect too or is he supposed to drag off the killer when he’s supposedly revealed here?” Betty asked when she reached Archie and Jughead.

“Who knows? Do you actually think the killer could be here?” Archie asked.

“It’s not like whoever it is will stand up in the middle of the service and be like ‘yeah, I killed your son’ so this whole thing seems not only stupid but creepy as hell,” Jughead insisted.

“Well the Blossoms are nothing if not consistent,” Archie’s father Fred remarked. “Come on. It looks like they’re about to start.” He motioned them towards the room where the service was to be held.

Betty stopped when she walked in and saw the huge portrait of Jason next to the coffin.

A hand rested gently on her back. A momentary flare of panic disappeared instantly when she turned to see that it was Jughead behind her. “You okay?”

He might be mad at her, but he was still looking out for her. The knowledge brought tears to her eyes and she nodded, giving him a watery smile.

They took their seats with the other guests and Betty turned to Veronica behind her. “I haven’t seen Cheryl yet. Have you?”

Veronica shook her head just as Penelope and Clifford Blossom stood in front of the casket and thanked them all for coming and announced that the service would now begin. Betty watched the colour drain from both their faces as something at the back of the room caught their attention. All the guests turned to see Cheryl make her entrance. In a snow white dress.

There were more than a few gasps and murmurs of shock as Cheryl made her way down the aisle.

“Oh thank you, sweet journalism Gods,” Alice whispered gleefully.

“Shh!” Hal insisted kicking his wife.

The rest of the service went on in much the same bizarre morbid fashion with Cheryl going on about how Jason had always been there for her and how special their bond was before she finally collapsed in tears, vowing to his casket that she would find his killer and make them pay. Her mother dragged her away, mortified, insisting the guests could move to the ballroom where dinner would be served in a short while.

“That had to be the most insane thing I’ve seen in…like…ever,” Kevin remarked, smiling. “It was awesome.”

Betty shook her head and turned when Jughead came up behind her. “I have an idea, come with me.” He took her hand and led her away from the other guests, back into the hall.

“What?”

“Well, I think this is your perfect chance to get some of Jason’s DNA. To…you know…know for sure,” Jughead offered.

Betty’s eyes widened and she took a step away from him. “Oh God. Jug…I don’t know.”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I don’t think you’ll ever get another chance.”

Betty bit her lip. The truth. No matter the cost. “But…what exactly do you suggest we do? Sneak into his casket? I don’t think I can-”

He shook his head and took her hand. “No, come on.” Hand securely wrapped around hers, he dragged her into the hall and making sure no one was watching them, he led her up the stairs to the bedrooms. “This one looks like his.” Jughead motioned her into what was clearly a teenage boy’s bedroom with its sports trophies and male décor.

“God, this feels so creepy. What are we even looking for?” Betty asked, rubbing her arms to stop her shivering.

“A hair brush will do it,” Jughead said, pulling out drawers.

She gasped when she spotted a picture of her and Polly in a shoe box under his bed with the number one above her head and number two above Polly’s. What did that mean? Was he planning to rape Polly after her? Thank God now he would never get the chance.

“Found it!” Jughead said showing her the hair brush.

“Who’s there?” An old woman asked coming into the bedroom wheeling into the door way.

Betty just managed to hold back a startled scream when Jughead stepped in front of her, hiding the hair brush between them behind his back. She took it from him and quickly stuffing it into her purse.

“Polly, child, is that you? You just refuse to listen. I told you, you mustn’t come back to this house, dear. It isn’t safe for you here. I’m trying to protect you. Stay away from this house, from my grandson. He’ll only cause you pain. He’s just like his father. No women are safe in this house, now come along. Out, my dear.” The old woman extended a boney, jeweled hand towards Betty. The old woman wheeled closer and her eyes filled with tears. “Oh he’s hurt you already hasn’t he? I’m too late.”

Betty dug her fingers into Jughead’s arms, practically using him as a shield.

“You’re not Polly. Ah, you’re the other one, aren’t you? Elizabeth. You’re the one he wanted all along.”   


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

“What does _that_ even mean?” Betty asked, staring at the old woman from her position behind Jughead.

“Mother, they’re about to start serving-” Penelope stopped when she saw Betty and Jughead. Her eyes pinned Betty with a glare that was like steel and sent a shudder down her spine. “What are you doing in my son’s room?”

“They were helping me,” the old woman lied and Betty looked down at her, trying to hide her surprise and gratitude. “I lost my senses a bit in the hall and got turned around going down the wrong corridor. I turned into Jason’s room by mistake and needed help getting back out.”

Betty carefully kicked the shoebox back under the bed.

“What are you two even doing up here? The dining room is downstairs,” Penelope pressed.

“Oh Penelope, dear, I know it’s been a while but you should be able to figure out what a young couple like them was up to trying to get away from prying eyes.”

Betty’s face went hot and she heard Jughead’s little gasp and felt even more embarrassed, knowing that was definitely the last thing on his mind when it came to her. On another note, Betty was quite impressed with the old woman’s quick wit, considering how confused she seemed a moment ago.

 _Oh he’s hurt you already, hasn’t he?_ How did she know? Could she tell? Betty felt the bile rile in her throat. Oh God, could _other_ people tell? Could they see the filth inside of her like an extra layer of skin? Betty felt the ground shift beneath her and the room spun. She held on more tightly to Jughead now to keep from passing out…or throwing up…she wasn’t sure which would happen first but she had to get out of here right now.

“Get out of this room right now,” Penelope snapped and Betty was only too glad to oblige, following Jughead out quickly.

She stopped at the top of the stairs as Penelope guided her mother out the other way where the lift they’d installed for her was located.

“Hey, you okay? You’ve gone white as a sheet,” Jughead said, cupping Betty’s face.

She heard his voice and could make out the basic shape of his head but his face and the rest of the area blurred.

“Betty!” Jughead shook her a little.

Her vision cleared. “I need to get out of here…now…” Her breath was coming too short, sticking in her throat so it was actually hurting to breathe.

“Okay, okay, come on. We’ll go outside and get some air.” He held her close and Betty leaned into him letting his warmth cocoon her. For the first time since the rape, she didn’t want to scream and pull away when someone touched her. She didn’t miss the significance that it was only with Jughead. Betty wanted to cry because she knew now with heartbreaking certainty that she loved him.

They managed to sneak out of the house and he set her down on the front steps. “I’m going to go find Veronica. Think you’ll be okay here for a sec alone?”

Betty nodded and rested her head on her knees, struggling to take in gulpfuls of air. God, what was happening to her? Any second now she was just ready to go off and completely lose her mind.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on, hmm?” Veronica was next to her in seconds. “Can I hug you? Is that okay?”

When would it ever be okay for them not to have to ask, Betty wondered distantly as she nodded quickly, leaning against her friend’s shoulder. “I need to go home. I can’t be here anymore…I…I can’t breathe…”

Veronica squeezed her shoulder, hugging her tightly. “No worries. You want me to get your parents?”

“No…they’ll ask questions. Just…can your mom drive me? Tell my folks I got sick or something…Please…Or I’ll get a cab or something and your mom won’t have to-”

“Hey, _mija,_ let’s blow this joint, hmm?” Hermione said, coming up instantly behind them, purse over her shoulder, keys in hand.

Betty was so grateful, even as shame filled at being so weak. She got to her feet.

“Don’t worry. We’ll take care of her,” Hermione promised and Betty looked behind her to see Jughead’s face. His eyes were red and glistening. He cared. Betty wanted to run back into his arms. He may be angry with her for what she’d said, but to know she hadn’t lost him meant everything.

“Can you tell?” Betty asked in the backseat of the car with Veronica. “I mean, if I hadn’t told you what happened to me? Would you be able to tell?”

Hermione looked at her in the rear view mirror. “No, sweetie. What happened to you was intensely private and no one can see it.”

“It’s nothing that shows like…a sticker on your forehead or anything or like…a scar. It’s nothing to be ashamed of Betty. Nothing,” Veronica insisted, squeezing her hand. “You didn’t do a damn thing wrong. Please tell me you get that?”

“Cheryl’s grandmother knew,” Betty said in a low voice, looking out the window. “I never met the woman before and…she could tell.”

“Oh that crazy old bat,” Hermione snorted.

“There’s some rumours Chery’s mom’s side of the family has some Gypsy blood,” Veronica offered rolling her eyes.

“And yet, she didn’t see any warning signs letting her daughter marry into the Blossom family so, so much for that,” Hermione remarked, making Veronica snort and Betty crack a small smile.

Betty was grateful for the silence of the empty house when she got home. She took her clothes off and showered forcing herself to take some time and not race through it like she had been for nearly three weeks now. The bruises were barely visible now and only hurt the slightest bit when she pressed her fingers into her thighs and arms. She might be able to wear short sleeves tomorrow. Betty slid her hands up along her body. It felt a little more hers today. When she moved her fingers along her shoulder, she shivered a little as an image of Jughead’s hand there, holding her against him as he helped her out of the house, moved across her mind. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her first real breath all day. She felt a warm pulse deep in her lower belly and bit her lip, giving a little jump when it was almost as if with her eyes closed, with the warm water and steam all around her she could almost _smell_ him and the scent made her body react. Just the thought of her body reacting in any way sexually had terrified her for so long. Just now though… _oh_ it felt so nice to have that little bit of her old self back. Betty changed her mind about wearing the pj’s she’d initially brought into the bathroom. She looked through her closet until she found it. The t-shirt Jughead had loaned her to wear the night of her rape. She pulled it over her head. She hadn’t washed it. She meant to, and give it back to him but it had slipped her mind. She was glad she kept it. It came down about half way down her thighs and she didn’t know if she was just imaging it but she thought it still smelled like him.

Her body throbbed a little as she moved to her bed. She wanted to make the feeling last as long as she could, afraid any second the darkness would come and bring the shame back.

She jumped a little when her phone rang. Jughead. She closed her eyes and debated whether to pick it up, knowing the direction of her thoughts, but she had a feeling hearing his voice would only heighten the arousal she was already feeling. She didn’t want to let it go. She’d never felt ashamed about her sexual feelings before and Jughead had only started featuring in them before _that night_. Betty slid into bed, giving into the little giddy thrill as she answered the phone. His voice made everything inside of her curl in the best way.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.” She rested her palm on the bare skin of her stomach, feeling it rise and fall as he spoke in her ear. Betty squeezed her thighs together as he spoke.

Did she need him to come over?

 _God yes, badly._ But she said that it was all right. She just needed some time to herself for a while.

He was sorry for blowing up at her outside the police station and wanted to make it up to her. What could do?

 _Come here, touch me, put your hands on me._ But she said maybe they could walk to school together tomorrow?

He sounded happy, giving a little exhale of relief in her ear that caused a little surge of slickness between her legs. Betty gave a little gasp.

Jughead paused on the other end. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah…” Betty swallowed. No…she couldn’t yet, not while he was still on the phone with her. If he knew…oh God, she’d die because he’d get totally freaked out. Her fingers traced her abdomen, making everything clench. “I’m just…really glad you called, Jug.” Did her voice sound weird? Too breathy? “You’ve been…so amazing to me throughout all this. I’ll never be able to make it up to you.”

He was quiet for a few seconds.

_Oh God. Did he know? Did he guess?_

His voice sounded different, rougher, lower when he replied. “You don’t ever have to thank me for caring about you, Betty. Not ever, okay? I’m here whenever you need me.”

_God yes, I need you. I need you here right now. I need your breath in my ear, your hands on my skin…inside._

He cared about her. It didn’t mean anything other than that. But the way he said…the low…almost growl in the back of his voice made her aroused mind imagine that he did mean it as more.

“It’s just…when you asked me whether I had anything to do with Jason’s murder. Betty, next to my dad and even more than Archie, you’re one of the few people in this town I give a damn about. For you to see me like they do, a good for nothing criminal…”

“That wasn’t it at all! I swear, Jughead. It was that… after what happened, I wanted him dead. Maybe I’m the one with something wrong with me because the thought that you might have done it for me…Jughead…that’s everything.” She swallowed hard, gathering her courage. “You’re everything.”

He didn’t speak for a long time and then... “Oh.”

 _A good ‘oh’? Or a freaked out, I’m not into you like that why did you just make things awkward between us now ‘oh’? Betty Cooper, you and your stupid stupid big mouth! Note to self, do no ever again pick up the phone when you’re horny!_  

“You too,” he said quietly and _oh God,_ Betty nearly came right there. “I should let you go cause I don’t want to make you…well…you know? Uncomfortable or anything after what you’ve been through, the last thing I would want was to freak you out or anything. You know that, right?”

Her mouth actually hurt from smiling and her heart was so full Betty feared it would burst from her chest. “I do know.” He hung up shortly after and Betty let her eyes flutter closed, imagining that he was there with her and that she could show him how much she loved him. Her fingers slid down her abdomen, find the hot swollen flesh between her legs absolutely soaked. Betty saw his face, smelled him, imagined his warm body next to hers, above hers and there was no fear, no shame as she stroked herself with short, quick movements, keeping her whimpers back in her throat. She alternated with slight and more intense pressure. He wanted her like she wanted him. He felt the same and didn’t see her as damaged or dirty. Maybe someday, this could be real. Maybe someday, it would be his hand, his body. Betty arched her body, giving herself up in utter delight to that hope, and came hard in seconds, thinking of the boy she loved.

She was with Jughead when the phone call came from the clinic. In his presence now, after what she’d done, after what they’d said to each other, Betty found it hard to look at him and he seemed more shy as well.

They were walking home together after a meaningful but approving raised eyebrow by Veronica before letting them go off alone when the Betty heard the ring and saw the clinic’s number on her screen. She looked from Jughead to the phone.

“You want me to leave you alone to take it?”

She shook her head quickly. She needed him here with her. He placed a hand on her shoulder as she listened. Her tests for STD’s came back clean…but they wanted her to come in… That could only mean… The world around her spun and her knees buckled.

“Oh whoa! Hey!” Jughead caught her before she hit the ground and held her until the world righted itself again.

“They want me to come in. Jughead, that can only mean…Oh God, Jug…Oh God!” Panic overwhelmed her and she struggled to breathe.

“You don’t know, okay? Whatever it is, I’m here. Do you want me to come with you? Or maybe Veronica or her mom?”

She looked up at him, afraid to ask, afraid he’d bail on her cause if the clinic gave her the news she was terrified of…

He pressed his lips to her forehead. “You wanna head over there now?”

Gratitude and love burst through her and she threw her arms around him.

She didn’t think she breathed the whole time the doctor spoke. Betty felt if she much as inhaled she would shatter into a million pieces.

The woman behind the desk was smart enough to not try for any false cheerful congratulations. A pregnant sixteen year…oh her birthday was tomorrow… _happy fuckin’ birthday…_ was hardly a planned event. Betty barely took in anything the doctor was saying, and she seemed to notice so directed much of her instructions about setting up appointments with an obgyn, vitamins she needed to take. Betty did notice there was no judgment in the woman’s voice directed either at her or at Jughead, who she seemed to assume was the father.

_Oh God, if only he was. I wish with all my heart and soul that he was._

_But no. The father is dead. The father raped me and left me on the ground. The father is a Blossom._

“Oh God. I can’t do this. I can’t.” Betty shot out of her chair and stormed towards the door needing to leave before she started screaming. Behind her she vaguely heard the doctor talking to Jughead and he took some pamphlets from her before helping Betty out.

She lowered herself to the ground and placed her hands on her stomach, pushing in, rubbing her fists in, fear and hatred burning through her. Even this Jason Blossom was taking away from her. Her virginity wasn’t enough, he had to implant his evil deep into her where it would grow and grow. Her first baby wouldn’t be with someone she loved where she would feel so joyful about their love growing inside of her. “Die,” she whispered punching her stomach. “Please die…”

“Betty, Betty, stop!” Jughead urged grabbing her fists.

“No! I can’t have this baby Jughead. I can’t have his disgusting monster inside of me!” She tried to jerk out of his grasp but he was stronger than she was.

“Okay, but you’re hurting yourself, stop!”

His eyes filled with tears and Betty wanted to smack him. How stupid was she to love him. She couldn’t love anyone. She’d forgotten that she was pure filth inside and now that putrid vileness would grow and everyone would see. But not if she got rid of it first. No one would have to know.

“I don’t want you, do you hear me! I don’t want you inside of me!” Betty screamed towards her stomach.

“Fuck!” Jughead remarked as people turned to look at them in question on the sidewalk. “Let’s get out of here.” He wiped his face and guided her across the street. Pulling out his phone he quickly dialed Veronica and asked her to bring her mother if she could.

Betty didn’t remember much of the rest. She remembered crying, great choking sobs, being carried into Hermione’s penthouse by Jughead, being wrapped in blankets. Jughead trying to comfort her.

“NO!” she screamed at him, punching at him because she couldn’t punch Jason Blossom. “I hate you! I HATE YOU!” Hermione pulling him away with soft sad words.

“She doesn’t know what she’s saying. She’s in shock. It’s not you she’s seeing right now.”

“I’ll kill it. I have to kill it,” Betty urged, looking desperately at Veronica who was crying too. Why the fuck was everyone crying?

“It’s okay,” Veronica said hugging her.

Veronica could hug her. Veronica wouldn’t hurt her. She wouldn’t pin her down and spread her legs and force his little thing inside of her until she bled and cried. “You’re going to be okay, I promise. We’ll do whatever you want as soon as you’re better.”

She would be better when the monster inside of her died. “I don’t want you,” Betty murmured as exhaustion began to steal over her. “I don’t want you…”

And then she remembered nothing else.  


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

The first time Betty met Jughead she was six years old. She and her family were down town for a walk on a bright Sunday morning. Betty had just pulled Polly’s hair and shoved her when her sister had tried to take her lollipop after she had already finished her own. It was completely unfair that their mother punished her and not Polly! So Polly was allowed to go inside the toy store with mommy and daddy stayed outside with her.

In protest, Betty decided she was never going to speak to either of them. Ever. And especially not Polly! Her daddy was talking about how hitting was no way to deal with arguments and she should have just told them what Polly was doing. Betty crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from her daddy, trying not to bite down on her lollipop because she was so mad! She wanted Polly to come out and see she still had her lollipop! She spotted a boy sitting alone outside the bus station. That was weird. He was all by himself. Where was his mommy and daddy? “Daddy, how come he’s by himself?”

Her father looked over to where she was pointing across the street. Okay, so she decided to talk to her daddy after all, but she would only do it this once and then never again as long as lived! Maybe the boy was lost. He might fall and crack his head and his brains might spill out like in that movie Betty and Polly had snuck in to watch behind the couch where her mommy and daddy couldn’t see them.

“Oh that’s FP’s boy. They live over in Southside.”

Betty didn’t know who FP was but she knew really bad people lived in Southside. Mommy called them all dinkwents. The boy didn’t seem like a dinkwent though. He seemed really sad. His head was down and he was digging his fists in his eyes like Betty did when she tried to stop crying but the tears kept coming. Seeing him made her heart hurt. She saw someone come over and talk to her daddy and Betty snuck away, being careful to look both ways even though there weren’t any cars coming. She stopped in front of the boy. He looked up at her briefly and then scowled and turned away, moving his body so his back was to her.

“Hi. My name is Betty Cooper.”

He said nothing.

“You’re supposed to tell me your name. Or are you rude cause you’re a dinkwent?”

He looked at her over his shoulder. “A what?”

Betty smiled. He didn’t know big words like she did. That was cause her mommy and daddy worked for the newspaper and knew lots of big words. “A dinkwent. It means you’re naughty cause you live in Southside.”

He scowled at her again. “It’s delinquent.”

Betty blinked. Was he crying because he was deaf? “That’s what I said.”

He huffed and turned away from her again and she pursed her lips. She already got in trouble for hitting Polly. She’d probably get in more trouble if she pushed this rude boy. She smiled. Daddy always said it was nicer to kill them with kindness. “I like your hat.” It was cool. It looked like a crown on his head.

His hand went to his head. “My mom gave it to me.” He closed his eyes and sniffled like he was gonna cry again.

She put her hand on his shoulder. “Is she dead?”

“Betty!” Her daddy called out from across the street.

“It’s okay, daddy! I’m being nice cause his mommy is dead!” The man her daddy was talking to got his attention again.

“My mom didn’t die. She’s gone on a trip with my sister, Jellybean.”

“Your sister is named after candy? That’s awesome! My sister’s name is Polly. She’s stupid.”

“My name’s Jughead.”

Betty stared at him in confusion. “What kinda name is that?”

He stiffened and pulled back his shoulders. “It’s a nickname. I’m named after my daddy. I’m Forsythe Pendleton the Third.”

Betty’s eyes widened. “Wow, that’s a lot of names. I like Jughead best. It’s easier and no one else has a name like it. That makes it special. Mine is so boring. Elizabeth. I have two other ‘Elizabeth’s in my kinnygarten class so everyone calls me Betty, but I’m going to grade one this year,” she said proudly. “So how come you out here by yourself?”

He looked back at the bus station. “My dad went to put my mom and Jellybean on the bus. She said it was only for a little while, but I don’t think she’s coming back.”

She sat down beside him on the bench. “Of course she’s gonna come back. You and your daddy are still here. She’s not gonna leave you guys behind. Mommies don’t do that. They take us everywhere. Even grocery stores and everyone knows mommies don’t like taking kids in grocery stores.”

He shook his head and it looked like he was going to start crying again. “I heard them fighting. They fight a lot. She said she couldn’t take it anymore. She doesn’t like it here and I’m too much for her to handle.”

“How come?”

“Cause I’m really bad. I’m naughty and don’t listen but I can’t help it. They’re always yelling and it scares Jellybean and she cries and that makes me so mad so I answer back and break things. So my mommy doesn’t love me anymore cause I got on her last nerve.”

Betty felt her own face crumple as Jughead looked away from her and started to cry again. Her chest hurt so much and her eyes filled with tears. She leaned over and hugged him. “Don’t cry. Your mommy will come back. I know she will. Mommies love us no matter how bad we are. That’s why they’re called mommies. Hey, you want my lollipop?”

He sniffled and turned around in her arms. “You mean that one in your mouth?”

“Yeah!” Betty wiped her own tears away and smiled now that she thought of something that she knew would make him feel better.

“That’s gross. You have cooties.”

Betty scowled at him. Really, he was making it _very_ hard not to push him. “No I don’t. Everyone knows boys have cooties. It’s cause you eat your boogers.”

“Huh? I don’t eat my boogers! That’s nasty!”

“You prolly did it when you were littler. All boys did and that’s how come you have cooties. Girl’s don’t do that so we don’t ever have cooties.” She took the lollipop out of her mouth and pointed it at him. “Here. Take it.”

He looked like he didn’t believe her but he really looked like he really wanted the lollipop. He took it from her hand and popped it in his mouth.

“See? If I had cooties you’d be dead now,” Betty pointed out smugly. “All better?”

He gave her a small smile and nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now don’t feel sad anymore, ‘kay? ‘Member wha’ I said. You’re mommy’s gonna come back. I bet she’ll be back even before you go back to school. Are you coming to my school, so I can say I say I told you so even though my mommy says it’s not lady like. I think this time it’s important. Mommies always come back unless they die and you said your mommy’s not dead so you know she’s gonna come back. Now say I’m right.”

He lifted his chin. “She’s not back yet.”

Betty huffed. “Fine. I can wait. Mommies always love their babies, even when they’re dinkwents like you.”

 

Betty came awake with her arms around her stomach and tears on her face. For a disoriented moment she looked around not remembering where she…oh Veronica’s place. She stopped when she saw Jughead kneeling next to her. “Hey,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry I was wrong about your mom.”

He narrowed his eyes in confusion for a moment before a flicker of sadness moved across their blue depths. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m not okay,” she admitted. “But I’m gonna be. After I talk to someone. I know I need to. I thought I didn’t need to cause I didn’t remember what happened so I could handle it all by myself but…after today. I need to talk about it…” Betty trembled, but she steeled her resolve, love washing over her, love like she didn’t think was possible, that was so different than anything she’d felt before, strengthening her. “…if I’m going to be a good mom to my baby.”

Jughead’s open mouthed look of shock would have been almost comical if Betty wasn’t so emotionally exhausted. “Betty…no one would blame you if you didn’t keep it.”

She moved her eyes over his face. “I know what it looks like when a child thinks it’s unwanted. I will never let my baby feel that way. It doesn’t matter where he came from. He’s mine, Jughead. He or she, this baby belongs to me.” Betty exhaled, feeling stronger than she had since that moment she woke up in the park.

He reached out to gently touch her face. “I love you,” he said softly.

Betty blinked back tears, her chin quivering. “You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better.”

He gave a soft chuckle. “Idiot. I think I’ve loved you since I was twelve years old and you broke your hand because you didn’t know how to punch and punched Chuck after he grabbed my book of stories and threw it in the river.”

Betty giggled and sniffled. Jughead reached behind him and grabbed a tissue. “He’s still an asshole,” she said after blowing her nose. “Oh my God! What time is it?” She popped up on the bed. “My mom is totally freak out.”

At a knock on the door, Veronica came in. “Oh good, you’re awake. How are you doing?”

“It’s night out, V. My parents must be having a stroke!”

Her friend shook her head. “No worries. I texted your mom pretending to be you and told her you’d be sleeping over.”

Betty sat up and gave her an amused smile. “How very sneaky.”

Veronica moved closer to the bed and hugged her. “It’s worth it to see you smile again. Feeling better?”

Betty nodded slowly. “I’ve made a decision.”

Hermione came in behind her. “Hey sweetie. You hungry? I had room service bring up a little something for when you woke up.”

Her stomach growled and Betty touched it, stopping a moment when she remembered there was a tiny other person in there now. She looked down and in her mind she thought, _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I said. Please don’t remember. Please don’t remember the things I said. I didn’t mean them. Please know. When you’re born, please know that you’re loved and wanted and don’t remember there was ever a moment when I didn’t want you._ She lifted her watery eyes to them and Hermione’s face softened as she set the tray down on the vanity table.

“You’ve changed your mind, haven’t you, honey?”

Betty nodded. “Do you think its nuts? Do you think I’m crazy for wanting to keep it? I mean…I’m sixteen-”

“Seventeen in about an hour,” Veronica pointed out with a small smile. She leaned over and kissed Betty’s cheek.

Betty shivered. She didn’t feel older yet at the same time, she felt so old, like she had lived a lifetime in the past month.

“What we think doesn’t matter. This has to be your-” Hermione insisted.

“It matters,” Betty injected quickly. She’d already made her choice but to have the support of the people in this room meant everything.

“I think I’ve never met a stronger young lady than you and you will handle anything life throws at you. If you decide you want to keep your baby, then that’s the right decision. Period,” Hermione said, cupping her face.

Betty shivered. “Thank you so much. I don’t think I would have made it without all of you in this room so I’m not sure how strong that makes me.”

“It’s not weakness to ask for help, _mija._ It took me a long time to learn that lesson and not try to do everything myself.” She turned to her daughter with a small smile and stroked Veronica’s hair.

“I’m going to talk to someone about what happened to me. I thought I could handle it because I can’t remember but, I know that I can’t now. Also, if I’m going to keep my baby, I need to tell my parents what happened.”

Hermione nodded, relieved. Betty would never be able to thank her enough for everything this woman had done for her but she imagined it was a hard secret to keep.

 

Betty made the appointment to see a therapist the next day. It felt somehow fitting that she was deciding to take control of her life on her seventeenth birthday. She didn’t want a big party and told her parents it was because she was still feeling a bit under the weather. They didn’t question it and instead they let her stay home from school and at the end of the day just had a cake and small dinner where Archie, Veronica and Jughead stopped by. Polly got her a gift card and suggested they could maybe go to the mall outside of town to spend it. She was trying and Betty was glad for the effort. She loved her sister but she wished they were closer. Maybe now that Jason was gone that could happen. She felt a nervous twinge in her stomach. Unless Polly had found out what Jason had done to her.

Betty had given Hermione the clothes she had worn the night it happened, if any DNA was still available on it after almost a month, matched with the hair from Jason’s hairbrush, then Betty would know for sure. She wasn’t sure why she needed to see the words on paper. Something inside of her was already certain. There was no memory but the violence done to her seemed to have imprinted on her, in her, her hand went briefly to her stomach, away from her parents view, _not you though, baby. You’re innocent. I know that now._

Veronica gave her the first three books in the Outlander series which were the inspiration for the show they watched together but warned her quietly not to read the second one until after the baby was born and Betty remembered how in the second season the heroine, Claire had lost her baby.

Archie got her a box set of old 70’s music, her favourite musical era. Included in it was an extra CD with him singing a cover of Lean One Me which turned her into a sobbing mess.

Jughead wanted to give Betty her gift in private. She followed him out to the backyard while her parents were cleaning up and Archie and Veronica hung out in the living room, promising they wouldn’t spy on them.

Betty’s mom however, made no such promise and she could see her mom try and be sneaky passing by the back window every so often.

“Your mom’s not a subtle woman,” Jughead teased pulling a small box out of jacket.

“No, not so much,” Betty said, her eyes on the box. It was bigger than a ring box so her initial flare of panic disappeared quickly, followed by curiosity. He handed it to her and pressed his lips together nervously before stepping back a little.

“Maybe it’s kinda cheesy but-”

Betty lifted a finger to shush him then opened the box to find a slim silver bracelet. As she picked it up out of the box, she saw there was something etched inside in tiny markings. Words.

 _You had the power all along, my dear._ It was a quote from her favourite movie ‘The Wizard Of Oz’ Her vision blurred. “Oh,” she whispered, running her fingers over the letters.

“Those are happy tears, right? I mean, sometimes it’s hard to tell with girls. You like it?” Jughead asked, biting his lip. “Archie’s dad lent me the money and I’m gonna work it off at his construction company after school.”

She nodded and looked up at him. Betty held her breath…wanting to kiss him so badly. So afraid to kiss him. Fear and desire battled fiercely inside of her. Jughead sensed it and went still.

“I want to kiss you, but I won’t if you don’t want to. If you want to, I’m here,” he said softly.

He was letting her make the choice, giving her back the power that had been taken from her. She loved him so much in that second, Betty didn’t think she could hold it all in. Betty took a step close to him, her heart pounding in both panic and excitement. She lifted her face to him and he stood, watching her and waiting, but true to his word he didn’t touch her. She touched his shoulder with trembling fingers and tried to fight the urge to bolt. Betty looked back briefly.

“It’s okay, she’s not watching,” Jughead assured her.

Jason had tried to take this away from her, her desires, her passion, the normal sexual feelings a girl her age should be allowed to have. Betty lifted her mouth up to meet Jughead’s and for a moment everything inside of her just melted in a wash of delicious, toe curling heat.

She could feel the fear hovering just on the edges but she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to hold it back. _Just a few seconds more, please._ His lips were warm and Betty sighed into them as he moved them ever so gently against hers. Betty’s fear surged so sharply up inside of her that she physically jerked back and looked up at him, wild eyed, hands covering her mouth.

“It’s okay, Betty. It’s okay. Can I..” he extended his arms towards her and she shook her head.

“Please no. I just need a minute.” She sat on the back step and just closed her eyes and breathed for a few minutes. “I’ll be okay. Thanks so much for my gift and the kiss. I don’t regret it. I just need some time. I’ll get better. I promise.”

“This isn’t a race, okay? Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Well…except for right now because your mom is glaring at me through the window and it’s hell-a creepy quite frankly.”

It had the desired effect and Betty let out a soft giggle. “Thank you.”

“For letting a hot girl kiss me? You’re totally welcome.”

Betty braced herself to tell her parents what had happened to her the next day. She didn’t want to mar her birthday so put it off until the next day. That wasn’t cowardly, Betty told herself. Who wants a ruined birthday? Looking at her parents in the kitchen now though, she almost wished she had told them yesterday so this could be over with already. Betty took a deep breath.

“Honey, you’re giving me heart palpitations so whatever it is you have to say, just spit it…oh my God, you didn’t run off and marry that Jones boy, did you? I saw the two of you last night.” Alice asked, horrified. “I don’t care if you got Archie or Veronica to ordain themselves on the intern-”

“Mom, no! Stop,” Betty insisted with a groan. “We’re not getting married. Something happened…and…I really don’t know how to say this.” She looked down and struggled to breathe… “About a month ago…” No. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t start with the rape. Just imagining saying the words was making a cold sweat break out on her skin. She’d start with the pregnancy first. “I’m pregnant.” There. Done. It was as if she could actually feel the air get sucked out of the room as her parents went silent.

“What did you just say?” Alice asked after a few seconds, her voice tight.

“I’m going to kill him,” her father insisted and Betty looked up, about to tell him that the father was already dead but his next words stopped her cold. “I’m going to find that beanied little bastard and beat the tar out of him.” He grabbed his coat and was storming towards the door. Jughead? He thought Jughead was the father? Oh God.

“Dad! Stop!” Betty shouted running after him and grabbing his arm before he reached the door.

“What, Betty? Don’t try to protect him,” Hal Cooper snapped.

“I knew it was a mistake to bring that boy into this house,” her mother said covering her mouth.

“I’m not trying to protect him…I mean…I am, but-” Betty’s mind raced, trying to explain.

“You’re not going to try and tell me that little criminal isn’t the father,” Hal insisted, his face red with fury.

“He’s not a criminal!” Betty insisted frustrated.

“Oh God, so it’s true. Jughead is the father. Oh my God! Betty what were you thinking? That boy is trash!” Alice exclaimed.

“Stop talking about him like that!” Betty screamed.

“What the heck is everyone screaming about?” Polly asked coming down the stairs.

 _Oh God._ She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell her sister that the boy she had loved, however misguided had raped her and was the father of her baby. Betty could kiss any hope of a relationship with her sister goodbye. And the Blossoms. What would they do when they found out? They’d want to be a part of the baby’s life, no doubt and then Betty would never be able to forget what Jason did to her. She’d never be able to keep her baby separate from the horrific way he was conceived and be a good mom to him or her.

“Well, go on, Betty, tell us. Is Jughead the father of your baby or not?” Her father pressed.

 _Please forgive me,_ Betty thought, remembering the feeling of Jughead’s lips against her own. “Yes. Jughead is the father.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Betty heard herself say the words before her brain could catch up and stop them escaping her mouth. _WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?????? Oh GodOhGodOhGodOhGod!_

Her father narrowed his eyes. “I knew it. God damn it, Elizabeth! How could you have been so irresponsible?”

“Wait, what does that mean? Jughead is who’s father?”  Polly gasped as she stepped off the staircase with the last step. “Oh my God, Betty, are you pregnant?”

“Daddy, listen to me, please. This is not Jughead’s fault.”

“Of all people, Betty! Jughead Jones!” Her mother groaned into her hands.

“Oh so it would be okay if I got knocked up by someone who met your standards?” Betty snapped.

Alice lifted her head, her eyes wide. “Are you trying to give me a stroke?”

“Daddy, Jughead and I will handle this. Please. Let me go to him and we’ll all talk later but I’m begging, do not go after him now while you’re so pissed. Please!”

“Oh you’ll ‘handle’ it,” Alice said using air quotes. “Bang up job so far, sweetie.”

“Mom! You’re not helping!”

Alice placed her hands on her hips. “I have no intention of _helping,_ my dear. You’re seventeen! I’m making up a very creative alibi for your father as we speak.”

“Oh geez. Mom, really that isn’t going to help anyone. Least of all dad!” Polly insisted.

“Thank you!” Betty said emphatically, before her face softened with genuine gratitude toward her sister.

Hal had always been the more level headed of her parents. Betty liked to think she took after him…okay, maybe not in the last five minutes…while Polly was a pure ball of emotion like their mother. Thankfully, that level headedness seem to return and her father stepped away from the door. Betty exhaled visibly and her mother grabbed her arm.

“You tell that Jones boy that we expect him home with you after school tomorrow or I will hunt him down myself and severely compromise his ability to have any more little accidents.”

Betty stared at her, a steely coldness moving all through her body. “Mom, if you ever call my baby an accident again, I will never ever speak to you.”

Alice’s mouth fell open and she was struck silent as Betty turned and grabbed her jacket before moving past her father and out the door.

She rushed to Southside, knocking on Jughead’s door frantically until he opened it, wide eyed worry on his face.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Betty pushed past him, her heart roaring in her ears. “Oh God, Jughead. I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry for dragging you into this. I just…I didn’t know what to say and it just came out and-”

“Whoa, Betty! Slow down. Breathe,” Jughead insisted, cupping her face.

Betty groaned and let her forehead drop against his chin. “Oh God, please don’t hate me.”

He pulled back and lifted her face to his. “That’s never gonna happen, okay? Ever. Now, come here. Sit down and tell me what’s got you so freaked out.” Jughead guided her to his couch and sat her down. “You told your parents what happened, right?”

Betty swallowed, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. “Not exactly.” She rubbed her hands on her jeans and stared at him. “I started to tell them. I swear, Jughead. I was going to but I just couldn’t get the words out, like they were physically stuck in my throat and then I saw Polly and Jughead… my sister is going to hate me if she finds out what Jason did-”

“Jason forced himself on you. He’s the one that deserves your sister’s hate. Not you, Betty. Polly is still reeling from his death. She’s confused but if she knows the truth she’ll understand.”

“I told them I was pregnant,” Betty said, her breath coming in quick gasps.

“Oh,” Jughead said, rubbing her back. “That’s good.”

“I told them you were the father,” she said, squeezing her shut tight again. The rubbing on her back stopped.

“I…Come again?”

Betty’s eyes filled with tears. “I know. I know it’s horrible after everything you’ve done for me and I just…I panicked! It just came out and I didn’t even realize what I was saying until it was already out of my mouth!”

He stared at her, stunned. His face so pale it was only the fact that he was rather young to have a stroke that made Betty only a little relieved that at least he wasn’t about to keel over…though you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him at the moment. “You…what? Christ…Betty….Oh Christ….”

“I know!” She wailed watching him get up and then sit down…and then get up again…and then sit down again, covering his face with his hands. “I’ll fix it. I swear. I’ll tell my parents that I lied. I won’t drag you into this.”

“Why would you even say something like that anyway?”

“I don’t know! I just saw Polly and then I started thinking that if I tell my parents what Jason did and the Blossoms found out that they’d want to be a part of the baby’s life and I’d never be free of them and I could never forget what he did to me. Your name was just…there…like this…wall between me and them. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I can’t bear that.”

He sighed. A little colour returning to his face. “I told you that I could never hate you. I meant it. This though… Betty. I can’t even comprehend how I’m supposed to do this. I mean, what exactly is your plan here? What the fuck do I know about being a father? Pretend or otherwise. I mean, you know my dad!”

Betty didn’t know FP personally all that well. She’d only seen him sober a handful of times in the years she and Jughead had been friends. Jughead had never expressed any great desire for fatherhood and everyone around him understood why without needing to go into any great detail. At the same time, he’d always had this air around him of vulnerability, of someone desperately searching for family, for a sense of belonging. Betty liked to think that she gave him that, with Archie and Veronica. Now it felt like she had betrayed that.

She closed her eyes. “I’ll fix it. I promise. I just wanted to warn you in case my dad or worse, my mom came to see you.”

Jughead got to his feet again and went to the wall that separated the tiny living room from the kitchen area. He rested his forehead against the wall, his back to her and was silent for a few seconds, just breathing roughly, the only sound in the room.

“Don’t,” he suddenly said.

Betty stared at him. “Don’t…what?”

He turned, his eyes wide in his beautiful face. She saw his eyes move down to her stomach and hold there. Something shifted in his eyes, panic gave way to determination.  “You’re not wrong. About the Blossoms. If they find out about the kid, they’ll be all over it. The last great Blossom heir and all that garbage. I mean, you only have to look at Cheryl and see what a hot mess she is raised by that family. Leave it for now. We’ll figure something out but…just leave it.”

Betty was afraid to speak, afraid that she was misunderstanding, afraid that she wasn’t. “Leave it?”

His eyes flashed up to her then in irritation briefly. “You need me to actually spell it out?”

She pinned him with a look, both apologetic and insulted at the same time. “Yes. I do.”

He nodded in understanding, also apologetic. “Okay. Tell them I’m the father. I’ll do this for you even though you may just be trading one shit storm for another.”

She got to her feet, tears filling her eyes as she moved towards him. “Thank you.” She placed a hand on his chest, not surprised to find it racing.

He lifted his eyes to the ceiling. “Yeah, well. Don’t thank me yet. This could all blow up in our faces.”

Betty leaned her head on his chest and he gave a little start of surprise that she was initiating the affectionate gesture but his arms came around her and squeezed tight.

The trailer door opened, making them dart apart and Betty turned away to wipe her eyes when a voice made her turn around with an eerie shiver of recognition.

“Oh hey. I-”

Betty stared at Jughead’s father and again, heard that voice tickling the edges of her memory.

_Come on…give me the gun, sweetheart. Here…just let me have it. Good girl._

FP met her eyes, recognition there, not of who she was, but of what she was remembering. She didn’t miss the warning in his eyes. Don’t. Don’t say a word.

“Hey, you okay?” Jughead asked her, but his voice sounded really far away and the room was starting to blur.

Betty blinked but the world got narrower and a lightheaded-ness filled her. Shit. Shit. I’m gonna pass out, she thought, just before everything went black.

 

_She could hear voices around her. She kept her eyes squeezed shut tight in case he saw. Oh, but no, no. He couldn’t see anything anymore._

_Betty was freezing even though…wasn’t it summer? Her skin felt slick and clammy with sweat but she couldn’t stop shaking._

_“There’s a blanket in my car.”_

_She knew that voice. FP? Jughead’s dad? She opened her eyes and instantly regretted it. Jason Blossom was lying beside her, lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes tight again._

_“And over in the back there’s bleach and a mop. Shit. What a fucking mess. Kid, I hope you’re fucking rotting in hell.” Betty saw the body next to her jerk a little after a small thud. A kick._

_“And there’s bourbon under the back seat. For her.”_

_Another voice. Younger. That one she didn’t recognize. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”_

_“I’m too young to drink…” she murmured. She hadn’t mean to speak out loud._

_“Oh hey, sweetheart. Hey.” FP was crouched down beside her, his eyes soft._

_She always thought of him as kinda scary, but he spoke very gently to her now. He helped her sit up. Her body screamed in pain and she fought back a moan._

_“You wanna give me the gun? Come on, sweetheart, just give me the gun.”_

_What gun? Oh. Her bloodied fingers ached, wrapped tightly around the gun in her lap. He turned behind him. “If there’s any kind of God, this kid won’t remember a damn thing that happened tonight. I’m just gonna try and help that along. Now go get the fucking bourbon!”_

Betty gradually came to to the sound of yelling.

“…a lot of mistakes in my life…”

“Maybe you were too drunk to know…”

“….never been that drunk that I would do that to a child…”

“Hey, hey, Betty. There we go.” Jughead’s arm came around and help her sit up and the room stopped spinning and Betty slowly opened her eyes.

FP handed her a glass of water.

_She sputtered as the alcohol burned in her mouth._

_“Drink up. That’s okay. Keep going.”_

Betty took the water, gulping eagerly as she tried to pull back the thread of her memory the retreated hazily back.

“Better?” Jughead asked.

She exhaled and nodded. “God, I can’t wait till this part of it’s over.”

“Part of what?” FP asked. He got to his feet and stared at her. “Are you pregnant?”

Betty startled a little before looking at Jughead and then up at his father. She sighed. “Yeah.” She met Jughead’s gaze. “He’s gonna find out sooner or later.”

The older man looked down at her for the longest time. “Christ.”

“I’m the father,” Jughead added.

A lump formed in Betty’s throat at the lie, wishing it was true.

“Wait, what?” FP asked, pausing in mid reach for the bottle of beer on the table. He turned to both of them and his eyes shifted after a second from shock to sad understanding.

_He knows…Oh God. He knows what happened to her. He was there. He knows ‘cause he was there. Oh God. Oh God._

Betty quickly looked away from him and down at the carpet,  digging the toe of her shoe deep in to a particular stain as Jughead explained that, yes, they were going to have a baby and they were going to figure things out though they weren’t sure what they were gonna do yet. Betty tuned much of it out. All she could think was that FP knew something about what happened to her and could give her the answers she needed. If she had the guts to ask.

It took two bits of news to give her the push she needed to seek out the truth the next day. One, the coroner had concluded that Jason Blossom had been killed on the night of her rape. The second came from the small bit of DNA on the skirt she’d been wearing confirming Jason as her rapist.

She’d known. But now she _knew._ Now the horrific possibility presented itself. Had the gun in her hand been real? A memory? Or a nightmare.

Had she killed Jason Blossom?

She didn’t tell anyone she was going to The Whyte Wyrm, the bar in Southside owned by The Serpents to see FP alone. She didn’t want anyone to know yet, whatever answers were waiting for her. Not even Jughead. Betty had already asked so much, taken so much from him that she needed to deal with the answers herself before she decided what to tell him.

She had forgone her usual blouses and skirts for a more…casual jeans and t-shirt in an attempt not to draw too much attention to herself when she entered the bar.

Epic fail.

She had ‘not from around here are ya, girl?’ written all over her and just about every head turned in her direction, with more than a little creepy leering expressions that made her want to run screaming back out the door.

“Oh fuck,” one of the younger members murmured, getting up from his seat at a table closest to the door. “You really shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m looking for FP-”

“Joaquim, it’s okay,” Jughead’s father said from his spot at the balcony at the floor above them. He came down the stairs, sombre brown eyes. “Kiddo, you’ve got more guts than brains coming into this place.”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, I figured. Not in here though. Christ, this is no place for you. Your mother would have my balls in a…um…Sorry…” he cringed at his crudeness. “Out back. Come on.” He led her behind the bar past another set of doors that led to a little corridor past a door labeled ‘Employees Only’ and a larger steel door that opened out into the parking lot.

“Betty, what are you doing here? Really?”

“I know you were there, the night it happened.”

He looked away from her and dug out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Pulling one out and lighting it, all without meeting her gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talk-”

“Please, don’t,” she whispered, staring down at the ground, at her pretty pink sneakers and his scruffy boots.

“Leave this alone, Betty Cooper. That’s the kindest thing I can do for you and my boy. He likes you. A lot.”

“I love him. That’s why I have to know. For him. For my baby. You know he’s not the father. I saw it on your face when he said the words. The only way you could know that is if you were there that night. I only remember bits and pieces but I remember you there now.”

“Yeah. I was,” he said finally and Betty’s eyes filled with tears.

“So you know what happened.”

“I do,” he replied softly.

She cleared her throat and forced herself to continue. “I remember a gun.”

FP took a deep breath and took another long drag of his cigarette.

“Jason Blossom didn’t drown, Mr. Jones. He was shot. He was shot the night he raped me. Did I kill him?”  


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

_ Present Day _

__

They had a new butler. Betty shouldn’t have been surprised. Crawford had been pretty old when she had come to the house, but there was still that jolt at not seeing his face when the door opened and a younger man than Crawford had been, at most in his sixties with a full head of salt and pepper hair, answered the door. He stepped back to let her in and Betty took a deep breath to try and calm the nerves that screamed through her veins thanks to being in this house again. He led her through the foyer into the living room. It was still furnished the same. Dark. Foreboding. Creepy as shit. It wasn’t a home. Not like homes were supposed to be. Cozy, welcoming, a place where you could let go and just be yourself. This house screamed Blossom Legacy. “We are the elite and must conduct ourselves as such at all times.”

Cheryl told her JJ was happy.

Somehow, Betty couldn’t imagine JJ having impromptu bowling games in this living room or water balloon fights in the backyard like she and Jessica had back home.

There were a few portraits on the wall and a lump formed in Betty’s throat when she recognized her son in one of them. It was an official picture. He looked about ten years old, dressed formally in blue suit jacket, white shirt and beige pants. He towered over her now at eighteen but in this picture, she could see the small boy he had been. Jessica had been born first, followed by JJ a few minutes later and he’d been such a tiny baby, smaller than his sister. Betty had worried for him the most even though the doctors had assured he was perfectly fine, just a bit underweight. A smile hinted behind the serious expression he was so obviously trying to master. Betty could practically hear Penelope in the background insisting he not smile. His blue eyes were lit up with a delight he was trying to suppress and Betty’s heart squeezed. A few freckles dotted across his nose and Betty studied his features, trying to find signs of herself. He had her eyes and chin and she thought the shape of his face was more her than Jason’s, but that mouth and nose and brow was all Blossom. She turned and spotted a few smaller pictures over the fireplaces. She couldn’t resist going to them. Cheryl had sent her a few pictures over the years but not nearly enough because the risk was too great that Penelope or Clifford would find out. There was a picture of Cheryl holding him the day of his christening. She’d sent Betty that one. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears, looking at his sweet baby face. In another picture he was a few years older, sitting on a horse, a wide grin that was absent a tooth on his face. In another he looked around the same age as the official portrait she had seen, so she guessed around ten. He stood with Cheryl and her husband Michael out in the backyard. His red hair was in sweet disarray and she let out a small choked sob when she realized why. He was holding something black in his hand and Betty recognized it instantly. Jughead’s hat. She could just imagine Penelope insisting he remove it for the picture. 

“The whore of Riverdale has returned.”

Betty dug her nails into her palms as a punch of both rage and panic shot through her at the same time. When Cheryl said it, it had been with a touch of amusement. A shared joke. This woman, though, this woman meant it. Betty blinked back her tears and wiped her eyes before she turned to face Penelope Blossom for the first time in eighteen years. Her heart was racing in chest but she was a grown woman, better at hiding it now. There was also incredible strength in hatred and that was her saving grace now as well and she smiled mockingly at her. “All class as always Penelope.”

The woman’s hair was still red, though a more cosmetically enhanced version of the Blossom red Betty remembered. She may be older but she retained that air of elegance and polish, that glossy veneer that hid the putridness underneath. “Tea?” She lifted a tiny bell and rang it. “Please,” she pointed to the couch, as if inviting a friend for a chat.

“Not sure I should drink anything you offer me. Arsenic and all that.” Betty took a seat just as a maid came in with a tea pot and tray.

“If I was going to kill you, my dear, I wouldn’t have waited all these years to do it.”

“Well, I did agree to your blackmail. It would have been bad form to do it then,” Betty pointed out coldly.

Penelope cocked her head and gave her a little smile that was pure ice. “Blackmail, my dear? Hardly. It was a deal. An exchange. You took my son. I took yours.”

It took every ounce of Betty’s willpower not to reach over and wrap her hands around Penelope Blossom’s skinny throat. “My son wasn’t a spoiled, psychotic rapist.” Betty replied with a tight smile.

The older woman’s eyes flashed briefly before she controlled her expression. “According to you? You were nothing but low bred gutter trash like your darling mother. Oh you tried to polish yourselves up and become upstanding members of society but blood will always tell my dear. In the end my son paid the price for it.”

Betty shook her head. “You are still the same bitter old shrew you always were. I’m the one who paid the price. Me and my children. And why? Because you couldn’t handle that your husband never loved you? That he went to his grave regretting dumping my mother just because she wasn’t worthy to be a Blossom?”

The shot hit its mark and Penelope leapt to her feet. “You will shut your mouth about things you know nothing about, you little whore. If I were you I would show a little more gratitude for the fact that I have allowed you into my home. You haven’t the slightest idea how grateful you should be to me.”

Betty followed her to her feet, incredulous. “Grateful? Grateful? Are you fucking kidding me?” She shook her head, trying to get a hold on her temper before she actually killed the woman. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Look, I just came here to let you know that now that JJ is an adult, I’m going to be telling him the truth about his parents and I’m claiming him as my son. I’m going to be a part of his life.”

Penelope smiled at her, a cold smile that sent a shudder down Betty’s spine. “Are you? I wonder. Come with me, dear. I want to show you something.”

A lump of unease settled in Betty’s stomach and a shudder went through her as Penelope walked towards the stairs with the full expectation that Betty would follow.

“This is the way to the dungeon, right? I remember from last time. Just so you know, there are at least four people who know I’m here,” Betty warned. Jughead knew this path well, she remembered as she followed Penelope down the stairs to the door that led to the basement.

“Do stop talking. You’re becoming tedious.”

Betty cocked an eyebrow. “Oh we wouldn’t want that.”

There was a door at the end of a long corridor and going through it the air was cooler and mustier than the rest of the house.

Penelope pulled out a key and unlocked the door which opened to a storage room. Betty’s eyes went instantly to the false wall at the end that she never would have found eighteen years ago without Cheryl’s help.

Betty jumped, startled when Penelope opened the door and instead of the dank, empty room she remembered, Betty was met with a replicated hospital room. A monitor beeped next to a bed that took up most of the small room.  

In the bed, hooked up to an IV and machines lay Clifford Blossom.

“Dear God,” Betty whispered.

“Yes, my darling departed husband is not so departed after all,” Penelope said walking to the bed and adjusting his blanket before smoothing back his now white hair.

“How…the car in the lake…”

“Had no body in it. It never did. It was placed there to make it look like Clifford had drowned.”

“So then what happened to him?” Betty didn’t know how she was managing to speak through her shock. It was probably her journalistic training.

“Oh there was an accident. The brakes on his car.”

Something about the way she said it made Betty look at her more carefully.

“He hit a tree, but survived. The doctor’s induced a coma to help him recover. He would have recovered.” Penelope met her gaze directly, sending an ice cold shiver down Betty’s back as understanding dawned. “So you see, Elizabeth Cooper, you have _much_ to be grateful to me for.”

Betty’s legs weakened and she had to lean against the wall as the enormity of what she was hearing swamped her. “But…that accident was…what… My mother sent me the letter fifteen years ago. JJ would have been three years old. Where has everyone thought he’d been all these years?”

“After the accident, we told everyone he’d been sent to a hospital in Europe for his convalescence. Then they were told he had recovered and was expanding the family business overseas. We would close up Thornhill twice a year and visit him. We would fabricate stories that he was in town briefly over the years.”

“Cheryl knew, right?” Betty grit her teeth, the burn of betrayal moving through her.

Penelope looked at her across the bed. “My daughter’s loyalty will always be to her family.”

Betty crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. “So, all these years. You kept up the pretense that he was still alive or well…functioning, to keep me away, right? To keep me afraid? Otherwise, why not just finish the job?”

Penelope’s face softened for a brief moment. “I failed Jason. I let Clifford spoil him, turn him into…” She cleared her throat and the moment was gone and Betty felt it was the closest she would ever get to an apology. “With little JJ, I couldn’t let him do the same. Have the same influence. It felt like a second chance.”

“My son would have been safe from that putrid influence with me.”

“Yes,” Penelope admitted with a dry smile. “But I wanted to keep him with me.”

“And so the lie,” Betty seethed.

Penelope nodded. “And so the lie.” This time there wasn’t the slightest hint of apology in her tone. “So you see, dear Betty, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my grandson. He is an adult now and if he wants to be a part of your life, I won’t interfere, but if you think that your return means that I will be cut out of JJ’s life, I assure you now, over my husband’s body that I will be even more ruthless than my husband was before I allow that to happen. Now you may get the hell out of my house.”

Betty didn’t think she breathed until she left Thornhill.   

She could smell Pop’s Chock Lit Shoppe, (which everyone just called Pop Tate’s because he made you feel like you were coming over for a visit to his home) at least one street before she arrived there. Betty got out of the car and just stared at the small building that had been the base for every teenager in town. Kids fell in love for the first time here. Broke up, sobered up after wild nights, planned their futures, cried over lost dreams. All of it happened within this small unassuming building with its kitchy 1950s décor with an old fashioned jukebox that blared The Beatles and Elivs along with Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake.

She walked up the steps and pulled open the door and her smile was automatic. The smell assaulted her and it was unlike anything else in the world. New York had its world renown reputation for fantatsic dining from all over the world but for Betty, Pop Tate’s was unbeatable and she took a long gulpful of delicious greasy air as she walked through the door.

Pop Tate had passed away a few years back and his son, Charlie, who everyone still called Pop out of reverence to his father, took over the diner, thankfully changing nothing.

Betty went up to the counter and Pop smiled when he saw her.

“Betty Cooper, right?” Pop asked, making Betty blink in surprise because they had never actually met.

He motioned somewhere behind her and when she turned she spotted a small framed picture on the wall among few others. They weren’t showcasing celebrities since as far as she knew no one more famous than the great grandson of the guy played back up in Frank Sinatra’s band had ever come through Riverdale. Instead, the pictures showed diners at their tables. Moving closer to the picture, a lump formed in her throat. She, Jughead, Archie and…Betty touched Veronica’s face and her vision blurred. She remembered Pop Senior taking this photo. It was a few months into her pregnancy and they had taken her to Pop’s to cheer her up and it had worked. Jughead was sitting next to her, leaning back against her, blocking most of her lower body from the photo so that anyone who saw the picture wouldn’t know she was pregnant. She had been very self-conscious about that. Her chin rested on Jughead’s shoulder while across from them, Archie sat with his arm around Veronica.

 She turned back towards the booths and spotted Jughead talking to a woman. Betty stopped and watched them for a moment. The woman had dark hair, just above her shoulders that framed her face in pretty waves. She sat on the edge of the table smiling at him while he sat in the booth. Betty couldn’t see his face but the way the woman was looking at him made a tight knot of jealousy twist in her stomach. She knew that look. She recognized it because she had looked at Jughead like that often. That was a look of a woman in love. Were they together? Jughead hadn’t mentioned anyone but they hadn’t had a chance for an actual conversation until now. Betty held back, not sure what to do, irrational jealousy making her grind her teeth. She sat at the counter and ordered a burger and fries, her jealousy tempered slightly by the delight of enjoying a Pop Tate’s meal again after so many years. Betty could still see them out of the corner of her eye and she noticed the exact moment Jughead spotted her. He’d been standing and he and the woman seemed to be saying their goodbyes. She touched his arm over his leather jacket and smiled at him before walking away, past Betty and Betty quickly looked away when she met Jughead’s gaze, catching the red flush that bloomed over his skin.

He looked guilty. Did that mean he and the woman were a thing? Betty couldn’t breathe as he made his way over. She wondered if her own forced smile looked as fake as his.

“Hey, I got us a booth over here. Come on. Pop, can I get a black coffee? A cream, three sugars, one chocolate pump, whipped cream for Betty.”

Betty stared at him, a lump rising in her throat and her eyes burning. He remembered how she took her coffee. He gave her a little wink and this time the softer smile was more genuine.

“Ah the Betty Cooper Special,” Pop said with a chuckle.

She stared at him. “That’s not true.” She looked at Jughead who nodded with a grin and motioned her over to the booth with a hand on her back that made her abdomen curl.

He cleared his throat before speaking and the red flush returned to his face. “So the…um…who I was talking to when you came in-”

 Betty quickly lifted her hand, her curiosity warring with the fear that he would confirm her thoughts that they were indeed a couple. She was afraid to hear the words. “It’s none of my business. Really. We’ve lived our own lives apart for years. You don’t have to justify anything. What happened back at the Whyte Wyrm was…the shock of seeing each other again. I get it. It’s not a big deal…” _Oh God, Betty Cooper, stop talking. Stop talking now!_

He looked down at the table, running his fingers along his coffee mug, his jaw tight. “So…you think I would be with someone else and fuck you in my office? Wow. It has been a long time if your opinion of me has changed that much. Shit, Betty…” He shook his head.

“I have no illusions about people anymore. We’re all imperfect humans just trying to get through life. I didn’t come here to argue with you, Jughead.”

He stared at her, a mix of both anger and sadness in his eyes before acceptance showed in them and he nodded. “Okay, so now we’re both here and I asked you for answers.”

She shook her head. “Jughead, you know why I left. You have to know. Veronica, Archie’s dad, my father, Sheriff Keller…Did you really think I would let Clifford Blossom add you to that list?”

He leaned back in his seat and rolled his eyes. “I get that part. I get the reason but…why didn’t you trust me enough to stand up to the Blossoms with you?”

“It wasn’t about trust, Jughead. God!” Tears filled her eyes. “Everyone I love was being picked off, one by one. I was wrecked when Ronnie died. Even more than my dad and I loved my father. But if it had been you…I wouldn’t have survived that, damn it. I wouldn’t have-”

“We could have taken JJ and Jessica and run, damn it!” He hissed, his face flushed red with anger now.

“Where, Jughead? Where could we have possibly gone that they wouldn’t have found us?” She stopped to let the waitress lay their food on the table.

“Anywhere, Betty. We could have gone anywhere in the world and I would have protected you. You and the twins.”

“Juggie…” she said softly, tears welling in her eyes at how easy the old endearment came to her lips. “I was eighteen. Everyone I loved was being taken away from me. Maybe I should have been braver…but I was a child, I wasn’t brave. The thought that the person I loved most in the world could be next… I wasn’t brave enough to stand up to them with the possibility of losing you over my head. Maybe I’d be stronger today. Maybe.” She shrugged and wiped at the tears that spilled down her cheeks now. “I did what I thought was the only thing I could make to make it all stop. I was weak, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right choice, the only choice I could have made at the time with who I was, how beaten down I was. I had no choice.”

Jughead’s eyes glistened as he reached over and took her hand. “You broke me, Betty Cooper. You fucking broke me.”

Betty’s looked away, unable to bear the pain in his eyes, pain she put there.

He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “No. Sorry, no. You don’t get to look away. You said you made the only choice you could, so own it, okay? Own the damage your choices caused, Betty.”

“The alternative was what, Jughead? All four of us go on the run? What the hell kind of a future was that for any of us?” She snapped, blinking back tears and blowing her nose after pulling a napkin free of holder. “Always looking over our shoulder for one of Clifford Blossom’s goons? No. I couldn’t. I didn’t want that life for you, for myself and sure as hell not for my children. If that was the price for Jessica to have the life she has now, for JJ to have the future he will have then damn it, yes, if I had to split them up to save them, then yes, I fucking own that,” she hissed.

Jughead sat back, letting go of her hand. “Okay. Now if you do, you’ll understand that it might not be so easy for you to waltz back in and claim JJ back. He has a life that hasn’t included you and a future that as far as he knows, doesn’t include you either. You’re going to have to own everything you just said when he asks you why the hell you abandoned him-”

“I never-”

Jughead cut her off quickly. “Yeah, you did. I understand your reasons even if I’m not ready to accept them-”

Betty swallowed. “So you don’t forgive me?”

He chuckled sadly. “You don’t need my forgiveness, Betty. You’re not sorry for what you did.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” she admitted, hot tears filling her eyes again. “God, Jug, I’m so sorry.”

He reached for her hand again. “Yeah, maybe you are. I’m just…that might take some time, okay?”

She nodded. “I just want us…I don’t know. I’m moving back here, I at least want us to be friends if we can.”

Jughead looked down at the table. “Friends. You and me…”

“We were friends once,” she reminded him.

“You’re gonna need every friend you got for what you’re going up against, Betty. I can try. I guess it’ll be a bit easier now that psycho Clifford is rotting in hell where he belongs,” he said, bringing his coffee to his lips.

Betty shook her head. “Yeah about that, turns out Clifford Blossom isn’t so dead after all.”

Jughead choked on his coffee and stared at her. “I’m sorry, what?”  


End file.
